A day in the life of a house frau

Hi, I'm in my yoga pants and a tank top drinking wine on my couch. Like every day. Niko seems to think this is abnormal, but he is clearly delusional. Hello, moms like to drink in their jams at home. Am I right? LADIES?

Here is any given day for me:

- "WAHHHHHH!" I roll out of bed toward the kids' room. I actually roll like they say to do when you're on fire. I attempt to take the baby in my bed, which creates havoc as the older one wakes up and tries to crawl in too. Four people, queen size bed. Bad math.

- Breakfast. Coffee and internet for me, newspapers and cereal for everyone else. One of those elses throws everything on the floor and I ignore it until I'm all caught up on Facebook.

- Activity. Every day we have some planned activity. I dress my kids in matching clothes not so I can show off how rich I am (my mother-in-law's theory) but so I only have to think about one outfit. Ah, they're in the blue dresses. Sweet. Off to playgroup/preschool/zoo/gymnastics/dance/the smoking crater that is my day.

- Lunch. Home. Back to my jams.

- Naps. The little one sleeps, the big one makes me pretend I'm a horse for two hours then interrogates me on what flowers eat for dinner. I do not know the answer. Dirt?

- No man's land. This part of my day could be anything. Today some Medill journalism students from came over and taped an interview with me about my thoughts on tiger momming. You know, the backlash to attachment parenting, the movement that has been plaguing the American guilt complex for the last decade? My answer was go ahead, be a tiger mom. But focus your tiger momming on your kid, not other parents whom you disagree with their parenting styles. I don't need a spanking.

- Dinner. Spaghetti on the floor, followed by cracking open a bottle and whipping up some chili pepper sweet potatoes.

After a lively debate with the hubs about California and why we're such dorks, we've both retired to our screens. Hello, love! He's playing some game that kills people and I'm telling you I drink in my pajamas.

Good night!

Filed under: Dear diary, Nazi Momming

Comments

Leave a comment
  • You honestly don't get the unfairness. Your husband has to *work* all day, and you are bragging about lounging in your yoga pants and drinking wine.

    You think it's funny - you are simply an entitled princess who may or may not learn about real life later on down the road. You really, truly make me sick, but either you will continue your sheltered existence (God knows why - maybe you bagged a religious type or a rich idiot) or you will intersect with real life.

  • In reply to Misnomer:

    Misnomer (or should I call you Mis-gnome-er).. Sounds like you've got an agenda or maybe just you pants on too tight.

    Being a parent to two kids under 3 isn't some small feat. Frankly I'd rather work in an office and am glad that I have only one to manage. Try chasing around two kids all day and you'll be drinking wine by the gallon.

    Also, perhaps you've missed the levity and wit built within Jenna's blog...It's more than just bitching (which is what you're doing). I can't help you with your comprehension, but I might recommend FoxNews, or maybe USA Today would suit your reading level.

  • In reply to Misnomer:

    Hi there! I'll start by saying my husband was sitting right next to me as I typed that, as you would have known had you actually read the entire post.

    Secondly, I usually don't get this personal, but I'll just tell you a little story. I left home when I was 17. I was a junior in high school and when I was thrown out without so much as a spoon by my mentally ill mother. I only had the clothes I was wearing and the money in my pocket ($2, just so you know how wealthy I was.) Luckily, I had a job working nearly full-time hours after school and on weekends. I was homeless. My friends gave me clothes, another friend gave me a couch to sleep on. I worked constantly. I did not have a day off for over eight months.

    In a stroke of pure luck, I was able to purchase a $200 car. A 1982 Dodge Aires that wouldn't go over 25 miles per hour. It was literally a death trap. The transmission slipped on any type of incline and almost killed me several times.

    I continued to work and study non stop, eventually earning a scholarship at a private school, where in another stroke of luck, I managed to spend a semester near London. That five month period of time was the only time in my life between the ages of 14 and 29 that I was not employed. I was, however, unfortunately hit by a street train in Holland and suffered a brain injury that still affects me to this day.

    48 hours after I touched down on American soil I began working again. I had secured a job at a Scripps Howard newspaper where I interned selling advertising in the grueling heat 10 hours a day. I was the top producer in my department, so I was invited to stay at the newspaper for a second summer.

    With zero financial or emotional support from my parents, it is a bit of a wonder that I graduated in four years. But I did. Soon after, I moved to Chicago where I shared a three bed, one bath apartment with four other people. We had no air conditioning. I waited tables and worked temp jobs before finally getting hired by a national real estate company where I worked for three years.

    One day I asked a senior manager if he could guide me on what certifications I could get in order to advance at the company. He smiled a gentle smile, actually patted me on the head and said, "Oh Jenna, you'll get married. That's your path!"

    I put in my two weeks notice and got a job selling cars. I worked tirelessly, six days a week, 12 hour days in an all-male environment. I had a customer corner me in a closed elevator and sink his claws into my ass. I had a subordinate male employee threaten to throw a chair at my face (he was let go, thankfully). It was not easy, but I managed to be the top-selling person in my department and was eventually promoted.

    Then I met my husband. An atheist who drinks wine with me on the couch. He's my best friend. He's had to glue a thousand pieces of a person together, but over time, it's worked. Somehow, after five years of his gentle persuasion that I am worthy of this amazing life I have - a life I don't take for granted for one second I breathe - somehow he started to convince me. I started to believe he was right, that I am enough. That it is okay I take time away from the work of raising our family to write a little bit on this blog. That I'm a worthy person and my pursuit of writing is valid.

    And then you come along to remind me that no, I'm not worth it.

  • GO, JENNA!!!

    And do not doubt for one second your worth! After all you've been through & all your hard work, you deserve your wonderful husband, wonderful kids and wonderful blog. Keep going!
    Xo

  • The words of Misnomer aren't worth the computer they were typed on. Never, ever question your worth - the accomplishments you have made under awful circumstances are the very reason your self worth should be off the charts. You rock girl. Don't let anyone let you feel otherwise.

  • In reply to Misnomer:

    "Misnomer: A term which suggests an interpretation which is known to be untrue."

    Kraft och omtanke to you.

  • My husband watched the kids for one weekend and was counting down until he could get back to work.

    You are far from sheltered or spoiled.

    Thank you for representing us moms who love to drink wine in our sweat pants. We deserve it.

  • And kraft och omtanke to you, too, Jenna.

    Strength and consideration is what we all need to get through this life. Take your time, enjoy your wine, raise your girls, write your piece/peace. You have everything you need. MTM.

  • Misnomer--who probably won't be back here ever again, who has lobbed his grenade only to go looking for other places to lob grenades, as is the way of the internet, who will never respond to the rest of us--this Misnomer Has. No. Clue. Andy hits it right on the head about spending one's whole day with young children. I don't care if you have one or seven. It's not something many people are capable of and it has nothing whatsoever to do with being a princess. I'm so glad you have those girls, that glass of wine, and that hubs. In your time off you should write a book about your life!

  • fb_avatar

    What the hell is wrong with people??! Cyber-bulling and defamation of character is NEVER ok! Jenna, never feel that you have to explain yourself. I've just had something similar happen to me, I was attacked & humiliated on a public forum by a complete stranger. I completely understand how horrible it felt, and my 2.5 year old has also suffered as a result. It may help to know that you are not alone in your feelings. I follow your blog from Canada & love your sarcastic humor. And although I am not an avid wine drinker, I do enjoy starting my day on with a lovely liquor in my coffee;) As a stay at home mom, myself and many of my friends use humour and a good drink to make our worlds a little more bearable & fun! You're an amazing woman, mother, and wife. The sooner woman starting standing up & being supportive of one another is a day we are one step closer to a world filled with peace that we can be proud to leave for our children & future generations.

  • I for one enjoy reading your posts. Keep writing. Let the chips fall where they may.

  • obviously misnomer has never been a stay at home mom. I have. And I know it is the HARDEST thing to do. I understand how hard it is to have lunch with the same small people day after day.. and days on end with nobody to "get dressed up for" is enough to drive a person mad. Just love your kids. Who cares what anybody else thinks of you.. except them. They .. and your husband.. are really all that matter. If they are happy with you and what you are doing.. who cares what some stranger with no face thinks of you. Jealousy sometimes makes people say mean things. I say that is what motivated that hateful comment. Keep writing. You are a funny mom. Like me :)

  • btw... I get so mad when people think stay at home moms of kids in diapers dont work ALL DAY. who the hell do they think changes those things every 2 hours??

  • Jenna,
    Just read your 'Hey Jerk, my baby hates you' blog and it led me here. first of all, I can somehow relate. I'm fairly new to the blogging world.. and I know that one day I'm going to ruffle a few feathers and I'm going to get some ignorant comment and cry...into my wine..
    ANYhoo... 'do you boo boo' .. you seem to have an incredibly hectic day, being a 'housewife' and mother is a 24/7 job that you don't get paid for (at least not in money form) So keep doing what works for YOUR family. If you and the hubby have come to an arrangement that you are both happy with, continue to do so ...

    SOME people appareantly have a reeeeeeeeal big chip on their shoulder ....

Leave a comment