"Mommy Porn": Worst Term Ever Invented. Ever. Please Stop.

A new genre of literature is hitting mainstream shelves -err, e-readers: Softcore BSDM novels. Apparently this is a "thing" beginning with 50 Shades Of Gray, the #1 New York Times best seller that targets the mommy demographic. Although I have not read it myself (COUGH! You know I will!) I snagged this bit of sample text from Jezebel.

On being spanked:

"Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness — from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid."

I'm sorry, but that's just stupid. It's like we're inside the mind of, well, someone as boring as me thinking thoughts as boring as mine. "Hmmm, window cleaner, why did they pick blue instead of orange? Why is lip gloss so sticky? When do bus drivers pee?"

In another chapter, apparently our herione said "argh!" as they start doing the deed. One astute Jez commenter said, " 'argh'? Who is this? Liz Lemon?" Oh, and apparently she is a fan of sweatpants. You know how I feel about those.

But the the real problem here -  they're calling it MOMMY PORN. Please. Just stop. I may have given birth in my lifetime and being a mother is one of my roles, but there are times the word "mommy" makes me cringe. Calling BSDM literature "mommy porn" is just revolting. Why is it that everything women between the ages of 25-45 do is "mommy" something or other. Mommy Blogs. Mommy makeovers. Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I hear that enough. Go play with your sister or Santa's taking all those toys back to his workshop.

If they're trying to bring erotica into the mainstream, this marketing needs work. The last thing a woman wants to be reminded of when she's trying to enjoy a dirty evening and a glass of wine is the fact that there are tiny, innocent people in the other room who think she's some kind of moral example. Buzz kill!

I think they should just call it what it is. Romance Novels for Twilight Fans. The end.

 

Filed under: Freeks

Comments

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  • Argh? Sounds like the book was pirated.

  • In reply to Aquinas wired:

    Oh you are clever! Especially in light of the fact this book is fan fiction based entirely on the Twilight series and piggybacking on its success.

    Somebody get Aquinas a drink!

  • Hmph.. "Mommy Porn", I always thought those were Danielle Steele novels, "Desparate Housewives", and Red Shoe Diaries episodes.

  • In reply to Curtis Shaw Flagg:

    Apparently Google Adsense thinks "mommy porn" is graphic images of naked women, which is why they pulled my ad. Rush Limbaugh and I have so much in common now!

  • Mommy Porn sounds like the title to a Law & Order SVU episode. Sick. I agree, just call them romance novels.

  • In reply to Chicago Quirk:

    Why not go after other professions? Plumber porn! Insurance broker porn!

  • I don't use baby oil.

  • In reply to gwill:

    Yeah right.

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