I sucked at stand-up

I was terrible at stand-up comedy. I was all boobs and run-on sentences. The audience would just stare at me, like "What? No period jokes?" I don't make period jokes, I don't hate men and I don't have any cats. Those were the main topics covered by local female comedians at the time and apparently no one but me thought Andy Griffith Show jokes were funny. (Seriously, why was Aunt Bea always wringing her hands about the spaghetti? Get to the casino, granny!)

I was also employed and open mic nights generally went into the wee hours. That, and not being funny, was a bad combo for my career in stand-up. But I was lucky enough to revisit that world last night (as a spectator!) at Comedy Sportz. On a whim, we scored a sitter and zipped down to Belmont for the 8:00 show.

If you haven't been to live comedy in awhile, you really should go. I love live theater. There's always a chance of shadenfreude if the people mess up and you might even get picked on. That's fun. Somehow always, and I mean nearly ALWAYS, I am singled out in the audience at these type of events. I've been sawed in half by magicians, assigned props to hold and asked inappropriate questions from my seat more times than I can count. Last night was no different. Actually, two comedians interrupted their set to make fun of me. All in good fun, of course. One was throughly confused that Niko and I were married, with kids and not neatly tucked away in the suburbs. Married? Kids? The city? Aneurism!

Which brings me to my last point. You really need to see The End Of Suburbia, especially if you're considering leaving the city. I used to think we wanted a sprawling suburban home and "the American dream" but I think I've changed my mind. I've never not lived in the city as a adult and besides culture shock, the suburbs are really bad for the environment and the economy. Reality. What a downer.

I told you I wasn't funny.


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  • But you are.

  • In reply to Aquinas wired:


  • Open mics are weird especially for newbies. The audience is mostly comprised of comics who want you to bomb so they can go up on stage and kill right after you. Some have felt open mics are a little cliquey...friends laughing at other friends, etc. But if you're lines are good, people will notice.

  • In reply to gwill:

    your* lines

  • In reply to gwill:

    I found a drunk audience was the best audience.

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