Resumes to get into Kindergarten?

Idea! If Santorum becomes president and encourages us to all home-school, I'm still going to be lazy enough to want someone else to teach my child. I imagine in this apocalyptical universe that, along with mandatory long, curly hair and fertility, I'm going to have to deal with a scarcity of open spots in the better pubic schools. It's already tough now! (Seriously, who do I have to kill to get into Bell?)

Maybe the way to get my child into a coveted school is to make her a resume. I mean, I have blown quite a chunk on ballet, gymnastics, preschool, play group fees, Gymboree classes and Leap Frog DVDs, it should at least be documented. College kids submit resumes to get into top universities and besides, moms are using business cards these days, so why not a baby resume to elbow your way into Kindergarten? Let's begin . . .

Bee Karvunoodle

Objective: Get into a kick-ass Kindergarten

Experience
- Spent several days outwitting my Oma in Wisconsin, (summers 2010 & 2011)
- Did do puzzles

Education
Hippy Dippy Preschool, (2011-2014)
- Made magic snowballs, clawed in dirt
- Mainly executed my "inside voice" while indoors
- Used my words

Software
- Master of Toca Hair Salon app on iPad
- Intermediate skill on Fisher Price Doodle Pro
- Kind of suck at Dance USA on PS3

References: Miss Stacey, Auntie Michelle

###

See? Who has to worry about tuition? In your face, neighborhood pubic school.

 

Filed under: Momenomics

Leave a comment