Why hello there, Illinois parent! What with so many Illinois teachers suspended for bad behavior, it's getting downright confusing to keep up with it all. Good thing I'm here with a rescue guide to keep the facts about a few of them from muddling together in our brains.
1. Paul LaDuke, a 75-year-old Christian school teacher (and ordained minister) was suspended nine days ago for sexual exploitation of a child.
Location: Schaumburg, IL
Crime: Oh, just masturbating behind the podium while teaching middle schoolers for possibly the past 10 years.
The whistleblower: A student who observed him being a dirty old man, then told another teacher, prompting investigation
Punishment: paid suspension.
Bad masturbating-math-teacher joke: "He wanted to take Pi all the way!" I know, such an obtuse comment, but hopefully you can cosine it anyway.
2. Rhett Felix was also suspended in Illinois this week for showing clips of the Daily Show to his Government class.
Location: Eureka, IL
Crime: Upsetting the conservative community by showing clips about a health insurance discussion from the GASP!!! liberal media
Punishment: six days suspension
The whistleblower: The town Mayor's nephew. Basically an entitled young relative of Eureka, IL's elected mayor felt like having a little power play with a first-year teacher. I mean really, how dare an educator show both sides of a current political issue?
Note for those seeking to relocate within the Chicagoland area: stay the hell out of Eureka.
What we have here are two men, suspended from their teaching jobs in Illinois receiving the same punishment. One of them has been exploiting children for his own sexual gratification while teaching and the other one showed a clip of a television show to prompt discussion of a topical issue.
Wow, Illinois, you are so fair! Oh well. At least the teacher who bullied the special education student then put on paid leave was from New Jersey.
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