Don't even talk to me right now. I'm in a rage. This calls for espresso.
The boy name I have had picked out through two girl pregnancies is popping up on all these stupid baby name websites. I only know this because a homie of mine is due any second and always forwards me the articles as they pop up.
Apparently the new trend is animal names (ya don't say!) and the one that happens to be my 82-year-old papaw's nickname is the climbing the ranks. With no son of my own and no pregnancy on the horizon - I like being skinny and drinking wine, thanks - do I even have a right to be in a stew about this? BUT I AM!
Calling dibbs on a baby name defies all logic. It's a word. There are millions of them. You choose a word to affix to your offspring and if you're not even pregnant (and might not ever be!) why does the issue of baby name stealing and the hatred of seeing your baby name rise in popularity cause blood to curdle? It does mine! I fell in love with Isabel in 1994 when I first heard Bjork. Why is my daughter named Bianca? Because by 2008 Isabella was in the top two on the social security baby name list.
Getting pregnant, then having a 50% chance of having a boy just to name it is a really stupid idea - and yet it crosses my mind. Like I need another pooping, eating, college-tuition-needing child just because I want to claim a word? Talk me down people.
Possible solutions to cure baby name rage:
-Get a pet to name (I know two people with cats named Stella)
- Call dibbs on the baby name far and wide, cultivating a fame for myself
- Write a book so I can name a character after my imaginary baby (hm, seems to require as much work as a real baby, yet it might actually make money!)
- Start a business and name it my chosen baby name (more work!)
- Get a tattoo of the name. That's like calling dibbs, right?
- Coach a female relative to have a baby and let me name it
Maybe the solution is to just be happy other people like the name. When I was pregnant with the girls and I told people our boy name, they gasped and sneered. My sister-in-law said, "please think of the baby's future".
But now since my baby name is trending, maybe the way is being paved for my future son? Ding! Ding! Ding! This solution requires no work and no weight gain. Ah. I love being lazy.
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