Frilly family photo dreams up in smoke.

I had tall plans for my Christmas card this year which, yes, I begin to execute in August with our annual family portrait. This is my first year with two baby girls whom I was planning to match in fabnormous stuplendor with ruffles up to their eyeballs and, clap, matching splendiffery for me. And a pink shirt for Niko. Pink! All of us! Deliciously faboo pink vomitus for the whole crowd! *imaginary applause!*

It began when I found these adorable tube top shorty jumper things made from the giggles of pixie buzzed cherubs:


Then I found this sort of toolish shirt for Niko, but considering he usually shops out of the Sportsman's Guide, he was due for a little tomfoolery in the costume department:


And then the pinnacle of my life was reached when I found this amazing Betsy Johnson dress for me:


Does it fit? No. Am I in my 30's with no need for bows and ruffles the color of Pepto Bismal? Yes. But there is no way I'd ever let things like "taste" and "fear" prevent me from having a good time. Nope. I also have no singing voice to speak of and yet I once sang live with a band in a crowded bar. Facts simply don't matter when it comes to fun. I deserve to wear this dress NOT because I have the body or curfew to pull it off, but due to sheer will.

It was set. Pink wardrobe all around and a carefully orchestrated appointment with our photographer. Yay cupcake themed family portrait! At the suggestion of my friend Lindsey, I actually picked up a few specialty strawberry cupcakes for those adorable baby-eating-cake shots that were sure to bring the swoons.

However. Disaster.

At the last minute, the package containing my famously awaited cupcake dress in the correct size . . . did not arrive. IT DIDN'T ARRIVE. No cupcake dress for me!

So I put my family in their pink finery anyway and sat, sullen, in the back of the photo shoot in drab olive and black. At least I wasn't smoking a cigarette with panda eye make-up because really, I was that upset.

Merry stinkin' Christmas.

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  • Awww I'm sorry it didn't work out like you wanted. I'm sure your photos look beautiful though!

    PS: I wonder if you could have just worn the too-small dress? You could have been artfully arranged so the parts that didn't fit weren't showing - like those old-time vintage costume photos. :)

  • Nah. I thought about jigging it together in the back with tape, but then I'd be stuck with it for life. I mean, what if I want to wear this confection AGAIN? Like to Adult Prom, which is all the rage in nerdier cities? You never know!

  • omg. Adult Prom is a real thing?

  • In reply to sk8withk8:

    Oh, honey bear. Let me tell you about Adult Prom. It's like a very sad "date night" thing happening in lesser towns across the US. People get dressed up in clothes from the Juniors department and reenact prom night. Except less hot.

  • Hey lady, don't knock it! I asked because my friends and I celebrated "Mock Prom" for the three years after high school, haha! We were technically adults, but not really, so does that make it less dorky?

  • In reply to sk8withk8:

    Oh. And we did superlatives and all. And Mock Prom is a much better name than Adult Prom! I'm officially declaring this undorky.

  • In reply to sk8withk8:

    I like the mocking. PASS! If you ever become genuinely in the mood for a romantic prom, please dig out the mocking first then go for it. Oooh, you know what would be fun?? Arriving covered in pig blood ala Carrie!!! Yes.

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