I was at a meeting last night where I asked an earnest financial question and the room erupted in laughter. I didn't get it. No seriously, guys, what percentage will the lender require upfront? More laughter. "This girl wants to make a DEAL!" one squealed and eventually the room died down and someone else asked another serious question. Followed by a serious answer. No laughter.
Sure, I show up with blue toenails and doodle boobs in my Hello Kitty notebook, but every once in awhile I am being for real. It took me two hours to figure out why everyone laughed at my question. Answer? Because I'm funny. Well, usually I'm funny, so that's what people expect when I open my mouth - which has led me to compile this handy list of the pitfalls of being being hilarious.
1. No one takes you seriously (see above). FIRE! HELP! BEES! These are all things I could yell and no one would come to my rescue. Oh that Jenna, she is doing a hilarious mockery of avant garde dance. Such a card! In the mean time I will be engulfed in flames and perishing. Thanks, guys.
2. You hurt people's feelings. I was so fucking funny yesterday I accidentally told someone her blog sucked. Wasn't that just HYSTERICAL? No? It wasn't? You mean having manners is more important than caving to your punchy little narrative about how you're a better writer than her? It's called being rude. Not funny. (And by the way, it wasn't even true because I've been writing this blog since 2005 and I'm still nobody. Yay skillz.)
3. You offend people. You know how some things are funny because they are true? And I'm sure you've also heard that the truth hurts. While it is indeed wry that my privileged child smiles less in her pictures than the ill-fated Caylee Marie Anthony, perhaps that wasn't the most tasteful joke to make yesterday. Whoops.
4. Girls are not supposed to be funny. Do you know how many dates I ruined by making better jokes than the guy? Let's just say I had about 600 rounds of awkward drinks before I met my husband. The only reason it works with him is because his ego is like the rock of Masada. Great for my joke-telling, bad for getting him to do manual labor around the house.
The only thing I can recommend to any slightly socially stunted funny ladies out there is learn to get by like I have. With big cans and blond hair. So when your joke bombs or your serious question gets ignored you can blame the oppression of the patriarchal society and not your own stupidness.
Filed under: Uncategorized