[NOTE! Anyone looking for this blog, the URL got changed once Chicago Now went to Wordpress. Click here to go to the correct site and update your bookmark accordingly. Thank you good day.]
Dammit. I'm out of calories for today and I'm hungry. I hate you, My Fitness Pal. You have an answer for everything, don't you?? Raisins are high in calories. So are peas! So was that entire box of macaroni I inhaled before trying to cheat the system by logging "food preparation" as exercise. (By the way, twenty minutes of food preparation is worth 42 calories. Take THAT, website. HA HA HA!)
Sure, you made things easy when I was fat. When I was a swollen lump of a woman who could barely walk after giving birth, you gave me all the calories in the world. But then I got (almost) skinny again and apparently smaller people can't eat as much food. WHY? Just because a person loses 40 pounds, you take away their calories?? You make them starve? YOU ARE EVIL. Your heart is black and you laugh at special kittens, don't you?! Rude.
That's it. I'm cracking open a beer. 110 calories will fill me up and even give me a little buzz. I wonder if lifting the beer to my mouth counts for anything? I mean, it weighs twelve ounces and lifting it to my mouth is practically a bicep curl. Also, I really exerted myself mixing that cookie dough yesterday.
Filed under: Uncategorized