In today's edition of "not to be all" we're going to make fun of Gywneth Paltrow for a sec. So let's get started. Not to be all Gwyneth Paltrow, but you really should be buying your jeans at a fancy boutique and not looking at price tags. I know, you probably scored some great leggings at Target for $8 and you wear your hair in a mom bun 80% of the week (and by "you" I mean "me"), but hear me out.
You deserve good jeans. You just do. They make your butt look like you work out and they double as dress pants since the most we ever dress up is to drink wine at BYO Thai places down the block. Ammaright?
And if you love them, you will wear them. Sure, say you pay $200 but you wear them every day for two years. That's like 50 cents per wear. Can you say the same about all that sale stuff in your closet you never wore? I can think of a certain long white dress I wore exactly once. Not a value!
I had the opportunity to attend the grand reopening of The Denim Lounge Tuesday night and man, did I learn a lot about high waisted jeans. Yes, high waisted mom jeans that don't look like, well, high waisted mom jeans. They are like the Miracle Bra of pants! Feel skinny, look like a rocker mom.
I know, I know, the fashion media has been swearing on a come back for high waisters every season for like five years but this time it's either true or I'm making it true. These are great pants, people. The label is called Red Engine. Get them.
Of course if you are naturally skinny and tall (bitch) or medium and happy with yourself, there are other pants for you at The Denim Lounge. Instead of standing alone under florescent lights crying your eyes out (ME! HELLO! JUST HAD A BABY AND TRYING ON JEANS!) there's someone there to gently guide you to the right size and brand, then send you to their tailor for free. It's a win. Even if it's expensive.
The last thing I'm going to say about my belief in good jeans is no matter how much you pay, it's still cheaper than a tummy tuck and therapy. In short, pay for the damn jeans. Coupon yourself to death over canned corn (10 for $10 at Jewel this week!) but let yourself have the pants.
Jenna Karvunidis (KAR-vuh-NEED-us)
is a feminist mom of a whole brood of lady babies. Also, she hates water pollution. Like, really hates it.