Not to be all Botox Mom, but I gave a sip of a decaf latte to my two-year-old the other day. How could I resist? Coffee is my third favorite scent behind my husband's beard and "new baby head". At home, I stick my face in the coffee tin and get carried away like Pepe LePew for a few minutes before someone screams MAMA. How can I deny this (acquired) pleasure to the little tot I'm teaching everything? Can't!
I started drinking coffee at five years old. My parents diluted it with whole milk and handed me the funny pages from the Sunday paper. How Alex P. Keaton, no? And thus a coffee dork was born. Sure, maybe I never grew taller than 5'2", but thanks to Crest White Strips and the soothing effects of alcohol, I haven't incurred much other consequence. *twitch* So back to my babies. One is barely off the bottle and I'm ready to jack her up on joe. Is this wrong of me? I mean, what's the big deal? Her baby teeth will eventually fall out and there was more caffeine in her Easter chocolate than a few sips of decaf.
Let's examine the precedent we're setting here. I'd never let her drink a non-alcoholic beer, for example, or pretend to smoke those disgusting candy cigarettes (which yes, they still make). But there's the gray area of toy guns and knives - I wouldn't buy her a pretend bomb or torture device, but what's the harm in a water gun? We don't eat animals, yet she has "fake" hot dogs from time to time. What's worse? Eating fake animal guts or drinking fake coffee? The latte is seeming tamer and tamer. The real crime is teaching her that $4.00 is an okay price for a 12 ounce beverage. Damn you, Fourbucks.
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