I thought there was only one Bible?

I guess file this under "duh". Apparently there are 100's of versions of the Bible. I don't know what I was thinking - like every hotel in the world orders from the same link on Amazon. It turns out you can buy a different Bible for every day of the week - women's Bibles, study Bibles, devotional Bibles, Catholic Bibles, New American Standard, King James (I heard he was gay?) and speaking of . . . The New Testament For Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Transgender. Interesting.

The other day I mentioned feeling a little inspired to revisit Christianity, if only in the academic sense. (Right, because I'm such an academic. You do know I read D-Listed every day.) I realized we must be total heathens because not only do we not have a Bible in the house, I didn't even know where to begin to get one. I landed on a women's devotional Bible after a bit of consideration. The thing is heavy! 
I'm on chapter one. I'm taking "he made the world in seven days" to be poetic license for "the cosmos evolved over the course of billions of years, which is irrelative anyway since there was a universe before our earth started revolving around our sun". Also, that bit about humans ruling over the animals screams "protect them! protect the environment!" to me. 
So far, so good. 
I can't wait to get to the part about fire and brimstone, but I think that's like 1500 pages from now. Boo.
Here are a few hilariously disturbing "Christian" right wing propaganda posters. 
Thanks, religiousfreaks.com!

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  • You and the lady from the "Being Catholic...Really" blog should get together. I'm sure you'll have lots of fun.

  • I'm sure there's a whole thriving niche of Christian mom bloggers out there. Yawn. I'm so original.

  • Don't read the bible straight through, goofball. Try a reading plan. I'm doing the Essential 100 right now (http://www.youversion.com/reading-plans/the-essential-100) and I downloaded the youversion (the one I linked) bible to my phone. Also, make sure you're reading an NIV version... much much easier reading IMO. :)

  • I agree, if you are going to read it I'd def go with an NIV (New International Version) or NLT (New Living Translation) or ESV (English Standard Version). I know, I"ll full of versions. And I also agree that if you have some sort of reading plan then it does make it easier. I think it's great that you are reading it - no matter what you believe it's great to just check it out. But, of course, you know my beliefs and if you do have any questions I am happy to "try" to answer. Speaking of fire and brimstone - I am finishing a super-in-depth study of Revelation this year... talk about heavy stuff. :) But, to me, super interesting and I'm loving it. And just one last thing - if you are "researching it all" - you totally need to read The Case for Faith and The Case for Christ - AMAZING books full of info. I have quite a few agnostic and atheist friends/family who have read them and def thought them very enlightening.

  • Oh and by the way I wasn't implying that you are atheist or agnostic - that kind of came out wrong.

  • In reply to erinh:

    Ha, like you would ever offend me!

    You're like the third or fourth person to mention the Case For Christ thing, so I may look into that. Thank ya, darlin'.

  • In reply to erinh:

    Hey lady! It has been awhile since I posted (McCormick Zoo:) I went private due to a wacko comment from someone I did not know. But I am glad to see you posting and excited to see your interest in the Bible. Here is a link to a quick and easy mommy devotional I read every morning for a bit of encouragement http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/encouragement/

    I like it a ton and can usually digest it (with a giant cup of coffee) while feeding our 8 week old and answering the endless stream of " but why " questions from the two year old. Good luck with your research and I hope to see great things for you and yours:)

  • In reply to erinh:

    I agree...the Bible really is not a book to be read straight through. There is no telling how many times I tried only to give it up in Leviticus! Try one of the Gospels since it's Easter. John is my favorite! But I am so glad you are reading!!

  • In reply to erinh:

    I'm not a huge Bible reader, although I probably should be. I have an app (of course) that I use that has reading plans. Pretty nifty; every day it has a few passages from various spots around the Bible, I poke at it, I read it, and bam - done! I also can set up plans around all sorts of themes: depression, obsession with food, being a good parent, etc. Kinda neat - and free!

  • In reply to erinh:

    Actually I had to read the bible cover to covet starting with genesis in 8th grade. Ha ha just saw my typo there and I am going to leave it because it's funny! I think I am still so scarred by all the religion of my youth that I can't face the bible yet. Let me know how it turns out.

  • In reply to christinewhitley:

    Totally scary! When I was a junior in high school I tried to be Catholic for a second just because the Stigmata freaked me out so much. It was like Halloween every day thinking about that and looking at all the old freaky Madonna art.

    I was raised Methodist and eventually went to a Methodist college -but!- I did marry Catholic. My palms have yet to bleed. I'll tweet it if they do.

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