Like duh. Vacuum your refrigerator.

Want to impress people at your next cocktail party? Forget those boring ass tales of your trek through Costa Rica. And no one cares about your dumm German car and it's fancy toolery. (Quick fact in case that does happen to interest you: the Volkswagen Jetta's 2.5 engine is actually the Lamborghini V10 cut in half. I'm full of facts!) No. Forget I said that. Grace the party guests in your future with this amazing nugget of household appliance knowledge. Listen up. It's a dooze. You have to VACUUM your REFRIGERATOR. Amazing, no? 

Nothing makes me feel more like a gangling teenager than my mother-in-law waltzing in my house, scanning my freshly mopped floor, inspecting my air-tight clutter situation (don't open the closet) and asking me why I haven't been doing something totally obvious like . . . vacuumming my refrigerator. What, you don't do that? Shame.
She was like a prairie dog sniffing the wind in my kitchen this morning. Dishes were all clean, yes. Nothing stunk, no. But there was something imperfect. Something less-than. Some fault she needed to suss out and it it was there, in the air, a hum. The hum on an unvacuumed refrigerator. 
Vat do you mean you liffed in diss haus vor years and never vacuumed za refrigerator! You srow your money away! 
And just like that, two grown adults, in our 30's with two kids and a mortgage who floss and pay their taxes were reduced to mere imbeciles. No, regretfully, we haven't been vacuuming the refrigerator. (And don't lie, neither have you. See? We're all in this together.)
My mother-in-law makes a great point though. Once she pointed it out and her man friend went to work taking off the front grille and vacuuming it to hell, it did indeed make sense. Apparently there are coils that make a refrigerator run (don't ask me to go into detail) and if they collect too much dust, they can't do some job (?) and your refrigerator will eventually break. Yup. 
So just yank off the grille thing at the bottom, stick your vacuum attachment in there and voile! I saved you $250 in repair bills for when your refrigerator eventually starts humming, followed by going kaput. Plus I gave you cocktail party fodder. You're welcome.
Oh, and if it turns out that vacuuming the refrigerator is common practice like all the other stuff we didn't know about (cleaning gutters, using condoms*) then I apologize to your party guests.
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  • Well you learn something new every day! I'd never heard of condoms!

    Also: I do not vacuum my refrigerator.

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  • How did you NOT know that?

    *I kid*

  • LOL - I didn't know that either! But I'm also the person who didn't know there was a filter in the vacuum cleaner that gets clogged, and the one that throws away "hot" blow dryers without realizing that you can just clean off that little vent on the end. Sigh -- almost 36 years on this planet and still my mom will tell me stuff I'd never even thought of.

    Vacuuming fridge -- now on my to do list!

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