As I was chatting with the owner of The Baker House in Lake Geneva last Sunday, I noticed her eyes making an inconspicuous path between my belly and my drink. She would try to look me in the face as she was telling me about the sprawling gardens and her stash of fun party hats, but something in my glass was not letting her concentrate. It was the splash of cran.
The problem continued at YES! last night when we ran into a friend of Niko's and it happened Tuesday night at a party at Goose Island as well. The club soda in a highball glass might be fine in my condition, but the splash of cranberry adds a suspicious edge to my momtail.
Is a pregnant lady drinking alcohol?
Our grandmothers' generation may have thrown back a martini or two while an elegant cigarette emerged from her maternity clutch, but pregnant ladies in this day and age are subject to scrutiny. No drinking allowed. No smoking. No lifting heavy furniture. No dressing sexy or being caught in an adult toy store with your husband during an ice-cream date. (Forget you read that last part.)
But it's true. As long as you have a clear case of the babies, even so much as a garnish on your club soda is enough to unnerve passersby. Just to avoid the conflict, I'm ordering plain ole water from now on. Or maybe I'll have milk with a straw or switch my party prop altogether and carry around a portable breast pump so party guests can know that no, I am not stunting my child's brain.
Of course there's the alternative thing people might be thinking when they see me swilling away on something festooned with an umbrella: Man, the beer gut on that lady is out of control.
High on life and drunk on citrus.
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