Farewell my loves: Where to find High Gloss & Sauce now!

I’d love to give a big drawn out good bye to this blog but a few things: A) I’m not physically leaving. The internet does not occupy real space, ya’ll! The truth is I already moved my body and my stash of Target pillows from Chicago to L.A. a month ago and took all you... Read more »

Hey Nationwide, I'm not on your side

So, say you’re at a party. Eating snacks. Socializing. Probaby drinking. Just kicking back, enjoying America’s Great Holy Day Super Bowl Sunday like, “heck yeah, Imma have some guac here and wait for Katy Perry to come on,” and all of a sudden someone just punches you in the heart. Like, you have no breath... Read more »

The sexism of moms and Legos

A story started circulating the other day about another amazing, crafty parent doing something over-the-top to please the kids in the house. We know how these usually go. It’s normally a dad into photography or who has access to special effects video software reaping enormous praise for being a good parent. Here are a few top... Read more »
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If you hate writing, don't write

There are a lot of things I’d like to be –  musically inclined, Elle Woods from Legally Blonde etc. I only realized the latter after I went so far as to register for the LSAT and spent like ten whole hours in coffee shops with my $32 study book before, thankfully, it dawned on me... Read more »

Making a rental feel like home

I’ll just tell you straight up since you didn’t ask: I’m not thrilled about being a renter again. This was kind of an abrupt move from Chicago, so we figured we’d lease at first to get the lay of the land and then eventually buy when we settle ourselves. But wait. What I totally forgot about... Read more »

What it's like living in an apartel

It was 9 degrees when we boarded our flight from O’Hare. Disney’s marketing ninjas exploited this everywhere with giant cut-outs of Olaf peddling Frozen merch all over the airport. I mean, if eternal winter is going to come to life anywhere, it’s Chicago, right? My husband threw his snow boots in the trash and got... Read more »
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I should be excited to leave FRIGID HELLHOLE CHICAGO. But I'm not.

I don’t have to tell you what cold feels like. You know. The acid burn of 3 degrees. Vertical wind punching you in the face. We’re all in this together. The difference between you and me is I’m moving. On Tuesday. To L.A. My realtor called the other night and said, “it’s 70 degrees right... Read more »

I found my pink wig!

Ouch. Can you hear that? It’s me trying say stuff on the internet, but my words are all garbled like a drunk person in a slow motion video. GARghhhhGrggblhhHHhhhaaaaa. That’s what happens when you don’t write for a while. Your brain gets all stiff and then afterwords you need an ibuprofen and tell people how... Read more »

Bullying: Girls, don't be smart AND pretty

I’m suddenly grateful I was so plain in middle school. A mom on a Chicago message board yesterday shared the story about her daughter’s living hell at the hands of North Shore middle school bullies. 12-year-old “Sarah*” is constantly told how ugly she is and that no one likes her. She has been told to... Read more »
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Just STOP with the pink toys

One of my daughters just rejected a Harry Potter Christmas present on the basis it is “for boys”. WHY DID YOU BUY ME A BOY GAME?! she yelled. (To be fair, she is almost four and yells everything. GOOD NIGHT MOM! GOOD MORNING MOM! IT SMELLS LIKE DIRTY SOCKS IN THIS STORE, MOM.) With two... Read more »