"Doctor the EMTs are here with the patient."
"Alright, what have we got?"
"It's a bad one. An approximately 3 year old Blog, found abandoned on lower Wacker Drive."
"My God, what is wrong with these people? If you don't want to take care of a blog, then give it to someone who does. Don't just leave it there to die!"
"OK, let's see what we have here. Signs of severe neglect, cachectic from lack of posts, severely dehydrated from what appears to be attempts at wry humor."
"Doctor, what are the chances....?"
"Not good, but being that this is the Christmas season, maybe we can hope for a little miracle."
"OK, let's begin by placing a small post, not too much! It won't be able to handle it after going so long without anything."
"That seems to be working. Add a dose of sarcasm and an ampule of humor. Real humor, not that generic shit it's been getting."
"Good, I'm seeing a response. Now let's connect it to Facebook and see if we can get an infusion of readers."
"What readers, doctor?"
"Any. At this point I'd settle for a Chinese hacker or Russian troll farm."
"Looks like it's coming back to life! Oh Doctor, you are truly a miracle worker! May I blow you?"
"Of course, nurse, right after I get out of these scrubs..."
True story. Except for the blow part.
At any rate, I'm going to try yet again to blog.
My posts will be much shorter and to the point, which will hopefully keep me and you, the reader, motivated.
First up: Those fucking Holiday letters.
Till then, Merry Christmas to all!!
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Filed under: Health Care