Ravinia Strikes Back

I am nothing, if I don’t speak up for the oppressed.

Yes, it may seem that I am to speak out about Ravinia again, despite having been warned by ominous whispers emanating from the dark that, “The Board knows who you are! Beware!”

But, I am not about to be cowed by a music venue.

And, my conclusion may astound you.

Even when they seek to oppress a drinking establishment.

I suspect many of you saw that Ravinia is threatening the Ravinia Brew Pub with litigation, demanding “Tribute” for the use of its name.

I decided that I needed to see what this battle was about, and how Ravinia, the music venue could possibly fear that Ravinia, the brewpub could be mistaken as one and the same.

Now, I could have tried to call the pub to try to get a better insight into the issue, but you know how it is with litigation threats, it’s all, “No comment this and no comment that.”

So, after a bit of sleuthing and deductive reasoning ala Sherlock Holmes, I think I know what is the root of the problem.

1) Restaurant parking is 1 mile away.

I know, it seems hard to believe, but in an effort to mimic the beloved (by some, not all) music fest, this restaurant has opted to put its parking lot a mile away.

Undoubtedly, their thought process is, “After a nice walk, they will be ravenous!”

Undoubtedly, there will be those who “know people who live close by”, but you can’t always count on them.

2) You have to bring your own table and chairs.

Yes, it’s true. There will be no seating at the restaurant, meaning you have to drag your own table and chairs with you over that mile.

Also, once you are there, regardless of how early, the tables will be pushed together so that they will become virtually one eating surface.

You could, of course, opt to sit on the floor on a blanket, but odds are you will be bumping your head continuously on the tables around you.

3) There will be no lights on, and the bathrooms for men and women only have one stall apiece.

Apparently, a variance is being sought to allow for insufficient toiletries in order to better mimic the Ravinia experience.

Going to the bathroom will involve weaving your way past a gauntlet of diners who will be encouraged to grimace at you as you pass.

4) The kitchen will not be visible from where you sit.

Apparently, if you wish to watch the chefs preparing the food, you will have to pay extra.

You will then be allowed to sit in a separate enclosure, where large television screens will show you the kitchen staff at work.

However, if you sit in the main dining room, you will be allowed a small taste of the experience, in that, the owners borrowed the speakers their parents used in college to broadcast the sounds of what’s going on.

Much of it will be muffled, but some say you’ll clearly hear a plate being broken, or an occasional swear.

5) Everyone will be required to leave at the same time, through a very narrow door.

In order to not disturb those who did not begin eating until long after you arrived, diners will be required to stay till 10 pm, at which point everyone will be asked to leave.

It’s felt that the crushing throngs at the exit will bring about a great bonding experience amongst the diners.

So, to be fair, I think the Ravinia Pub should seek to alter its business plan so as to not seek to compete with Ravinia Music Fest, which has truly perfected the art of making an enjoyable evening an unpleasant experience.

There, to show I hold no ill will, I am firmly in support of Ravinia seeking to protect its brand.

And if someone still tries to convince you to go to Ravinia because “it’s fun”-STAY SKEPTICAL!!!

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