Dr. Joe Reveals His Physical Exam Results!!

Good morning, all!

I hope this post find you all Hale and Hearty, unlike myself, who am once again battling an illness borne of the plague beasts, also known as my granddaughters.

However, I refuse to let that stop me, instead, I thought today I'd reveal the results of my recent physical, since I discussed Trump's at length previously.

So, let me begin by saying my height and weight: 175.6 lbs. and 5'7". My BMI is 27.5.

Do you know who else has similar stats? (5'6", 179 lbs. BMI=28.9)

This guy:


That's Tarik Cohen.

For those of you who know me, I know what you're saying.

"Holy crap! Are you twins separated at birth?"

No, we are not. My slightly chubbier look alike and I are totally unrelated.

But, I agree the resemblance is eerie. (Especially after spend some time in Florida.)

My other critical info was a BP of 132/84 and a pulse of 60.

Pretty much what any normal athlete would have.

Now, as for my pertinent lab results, everything was pretty much completely normal, except for a slightly elevated cholesterol (Total=222, HDL=60) despite being on Crestor, albeit a low dose.

So, that got bumped up a little.

The other test of great interest was that I requested a testosterone level, just for the hell of it.

The result was 253 (normal 193-836).

Holy shit!?

I thought I'd be in the tens of thousands range.

Does this mean I have low T, as all those ads on the radio keep trying to tell me?

Well, let's go through the old checklist:

Change in sleep patterns- Nope. Sleep better now than when I was going through hell at my old job.

Reduced sex drive (low libido)-Nope. Confirmed with the Mrs., who is often disturbed by the drive I do have.

Sexual dysfunction- Nope, well to be fair, I can't punch holes in drywall anymore.

Infertility-Who cares?

Emotional changes-What the hell is that? Crying? Rage? I consider myself a typical volatile Italian.

Decreased strength-Nah, my weight regimen hasn't changed in years.

Weight gain-Some, but pretty stable overall.

Nevertheless, Dr. Joe never risks sweeping problems under the rug, so I consulted with my urology buddy.

My question was, why not take testosterone? I mean, if it will convert me into the Incredible Hulk, what's the downside?

Well, quite a bit, actually.

The first is that you can't just take a pill (due to possible liver toxicity), and the patches and gels tend to deliver the doses unevenly.

Turns out the best option is to go in and get a "pellet" put in. All it takes is the doctor making a small incision in your butt cheek and inserting the pellet.

And, of course, once you start, you have to be on it the rest of your life.

But, the most interesting fact my friend told me is that about 2/3 of men that go on the supplement don't notice any difference.

1/3 do, but, one has to question how many of them are having a placebo effect.

So, I've decided to leave well enough alone for the moment, although, I probably will have it rechecked one more time.This time in the morning when the numbers tend to be up, as well as other things.

The problem today is that Americans are highly addicted to polypharmacy.

We want pills to make us feel better without requiring us to put any effort into it.

Drug companies are well aware of this, thus the dramatic increase in Direct-To-Consumer marketing that tries to A) Convince you that you have a problem and B) They have a cure.

Whereas, in many cases, neither are true.

There's also an attempt to prey upon us Baby Boomers who refuse to go gentle into that good night, but rage, rage against the dying of the light.

(Apologies to Dylan Thomas.)

And so we are bombarded by ads telling us how taking drugs or drinking Ensure will make us feel and act like we are in our twenties again.

The painful reality is that most of our health relies on our observing healthy habits, primarily diet and exercise, which is so painfully difficult.

Yet, that really is the best option, and one that would dramatically improve your health and sense of well-being.

So, if someone tries to tell you that you need a gash in your ass so that they can insert the pellet of youth-STAY SKEPTICAL!

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Till next time, stay well!


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