Posts tagged "Jennifer Lopez"

American Idol Recap - Now and Laters

I hate American Idol.  I think it’s official.  No.  You know what?  I don’t hate American Idol, because to say I hate it would require me to actually feel enough emotion about the show to muster up the ability to hate it.  To hate something requires effort, and I have no effort to give.  I... Read more »

American Idol Recap - Songs of the Aughts

Guys, I’m a little pissed off.   Where in the Hades was Will.i.am tonight?  Did he have somewhere better to be on a Wednesday night or whenever they tape the rehearsal packages?  Did he blow us off this week because Rio happened to open last Friday and he no longer needed to remind us of... Read more »

American Idol Recap - Songs of Really Bad Cinema (Mostly)

Oh hai, Ms. Lopez? Your loofa is stuck to your dress. Whoops. Even the Most Beautiful Human of All Time (as determined by Mrs. Bowen’s Yorksville Elementary School 7th Grade home room) can’t be perfect all the time. So, pretty much, this season of Idol has evolved into a smorgasbord of various musical stylings.  ... Read more »
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American Idol Recap - Mo' Motown

The American Idol MVP Award, the most prestigious award we at Hammervision can bestow upon any single living person, goes tonight to Ms. Jennifer Lopez.  The lady offered valid, coherent critiques without using made-up words.  She slyly infused one of her critiques with the word “niche” knowing full well it would jog our memories and bring... Read more »

American Idol Recap - A Baker's Dozen of Mildy Talented Karaoke Singers

A few notes before we get down to business: 1. Apparently the IdolDome stairs are not as steep as previously believed.  I no longer hold my breath every time that sweet little moppet, Ryan Seacrest, saunters down them.  Thank you, new 360 degree camera view! 2. Jennifer Lopez’s single is #1 on the iTunes.  You... Read more »

American Idol Recap - Girls on Stage

The girls sang last night, and they gave us a lot more positive things to think about than the boys did the night before. As Ryan Seacrest asked last night, “How do you pick your favorite?”  Whether or not he asked said question in an Asian accent, I’ll leave up to you. Here are your... Read more »
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American Idol Recap - Let's Hear It for the Boys or Whatever

The early audition rounds are over and it’s time to get down to the meat and potatoes of American Idol.  And it’s time for me to start recapping again.   Here are my credentials: I’ve been writing about Idol since back when people thought American Idol: Taylor Hicks had a nice ring to it.  ... Read more »

American Idol: Stop It, Nigel

I’ll get to the real Idol recapping once the show gets whittled down to the Top 20 or whatever they’re doing.  After five years of blogging about American Idol, I just can’t anymore with these early audition rounds.  It’s always the same manufactured drama over and over and over and snooze. I do have a... Read more »

American Idol: The New Class

Last night was the season premiere of the tenth season of American Idol on FOX.  I had (OK, still have) lowered expectations going into this season.  I’m not a big gushing fan of either Jennifer Lopez or Steven Tyler (I blame her entire oeuvre for my feelings on the former and hearing “Jaded” on the... Read more »
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Hammering Out . . . The Back-Up Plan

Hammering Out . . . The Back-Up Plan
The Back-Up Plan.  98 mins.  PG-13.  Directed by Alan Poul.  Written by Kate Angelo.  Starring Jennifer Lopez, Alex O’Laughlin, Michaela Watkins, Eric Christian Olson, Anthony Anderson, and Linda Lavin. JULIE: Well, thanks, John.  It’s pretty rare that we get to go to the movies together these days, and what film do we waste our afternoon... Read more »