Posts tagged "American Idol"

Which American Idol Alums Should Take Over the Judging Panel?

Which American Idol Alums Should Take Over the Judging Panel?
Rumor has it that FOX is looking to replace its all-star American Idol judging lineup of Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, Keith Urban, and Randy “Dawg” Jackson with former contestants. After writing about this show for five years, and watching it obsessively for the first ten seasons, I have not watched American Idol since that one... Read more »

A Bittersweet Breakup After a Decade of Love

A Bittersweet Breakup After a Decade of Love
Dear American Idol, It’s not you, it’s me. OK, it’s a little bit you. We’ve had some great times. Remember the great Ruben/Clay debate of aught-two? Carrie Underwood and her dead eyes? The way you got me into blogging during Season 5? You did that, Idol. You did this. That’s on you. Remember how Blake... Read more »

'American Idol' Non-Cap

Consider this my little one woman protest against the train wreck that American Idol has become this season.  No.  Train wrecks are interesting.  What is the dullest possible thing imaginable?  Watching paint dry is too trite.  Watching paint dry while being forced to listen to watered down versions of America’s favorite country/pop/rock songs followed by... Read more »
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American Idol Recap - Bleh and Flurgh

Is Idol over yet?  I mean, seriously.  This show is just about the worst thing on television right now, or at least the worst thing I watch.  I never watch anything on either MTV or TLC, so my scope is limited.  I do watch America’s Next Top Model, though.  It’s kind of a secret (or... Read more »

American Idol Recap - Now and Laters

I hate American Idol.  I think it’s official.  No.  You know what?  I don’t hate American Idol, because to say I hate it would require me to actually feel enough emotion about the show to muster up the ability to hate it.  To hate something requires effort, and I have no effort to give.  I... Read more »

American Idol Recap - Here They Come A-Carole-ing

Oh, Idol.  Are you trying to make yourself as difficult to watch as possible?  Is it entertaining for you to choose music that, while good, is so of a certain era that it’s nearly impossible to modernize?  Is it fun to bog down the Top 10 with the dullest group of humans ever assembled?  Do... Read more »
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American Idol Recap - Songs of the Aughts

Guys, I’m a little pissed off.   Where in the Hades was Will.i.am tonight?  Did he have somewhere better to be on a Wednesday night or whenever they tape the rehearsal packages?  Did he blow us off this week because Rio happened to open last Friday and he no longer needed to remind us of... Read more »

American Idol Recap - Songs of Really Bad Cinema (Mostly)

Oh hai, Ms. Lopez? Your loofa is stuck to your dress. Whoops. Even the Most Beautiful Human of All Time (as determined by Mrs. Bowen’s Yorksville Elementary School 7th Grade home room) can’t be perfect all the time. So, pretty much, this season of Idol has evolved into a smorgasbord of various musical stylings.  ... Read more »

12 Questions About the (SHOCKING SQUEE OMG!) American Idol Results Show

1. Oh. My. Dawg! I know!  Did you see Iggy Pop without his shirt on?   2. That’s not what I was talking about. Russell Brand talking about Shambert’s nether regions? 3. No. Haley’s painted-on white jeans and hair feathers? 4. Hmm… Mrs. Klump attempting to mack on one of the ladies at the TMZ?... Read more »
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American Idol Recap - Rock and/or Roll

Well, I think my theory that will.i.am just shows up at the door of the American Idol studio each week looking for a chance to get on television is not so farfetched.  The King Pea himself stormed Jimmy Iovine’s weekly practice sessions with this year’s crop of talented boring people, pulled up a director’s chair,... Read more »