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Game of Thrones recap: The Spoils of War

Game of Thrones recap: The Spoils of War

Welcome to New Game of Thrones, where they've already killed so many people they can't afford to kill any more.

Let's check in with our buddies.

King's Landing: Not much happened here. Cersei is due to pay back all the money owed to the Iron Bank, because she's a Lannister, and you know the drill. Mycroft is very pleased to hear this, but he knows some people will miss the interest payments, ha ha. I guess the big thing here is that Cersei admits she wants to recover some things that belong to her, which are...? I'm seriously asking, because I'm blanking at the moment. Casterly Rock? Jaime's real hand? Some clothes she gave to Sansa?

Winterfell: The gang's all here! Kind of! Sansa, Bran, and Arya are back together, and it's like every family reunion you've ever been to--one sister resents all the cool new talents her siblings have picked up, the other sister feels like maybe she's outgrown these other people, but the fact that their little brother has gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs is the thing that bonds the two women. Speaking of cereal, Littlefinger is up to Trix, working his mojo on whatever Stark is dumb enough to listen to him. He gives Bran the Valyrian steel dagger which someone once used to try to kill him. Bran, in turn, gives the dagger to Arya, who is now armed and ready to fight White Walkers. Arya's fighting skills impress Brienne, but not Sansa. And Meera finally ALMOST goes off on Bran for being an entitled prick, but she catches herself before raging at him and leaves Winterfell quietly, because Meera is a better person than ALL OF US.

Dragonstone: Jon has found the dragonglass and he's ready to start mining. He's also found some "drawings" made by the "children of the forest." My "quotation marks" are because maybe Jon drew them himself just to illustrate his point that everyone needs to band together and be friends to fight the White Walkers. Dany finds out that the Greyjoys have trapped her Unsullied on Casterly Rock, and she wants to show some strength. Jon still questions whether or not Dany is a good queen--he worries that using dragons to destroy her enemies means she's more of the same, but the fact that Missandei speaks so highly of Daenerys means maybe she is change he can believe in.

The Road: Dany takes her Dothraki and one dragon to fight the Lannisters leaving Highgarden for King's Landing. (Using GoT's "New Time," shouldn't Jaime and friends have gotten back to Cersei by now?) There's a big fight where the red dragon (I don't care which) burns things and Dothraki cut people down, and no one whose name we know dies. (Maybe Randyll Tarly does? I lost track of him.) Bronn hits the dragon with Qyburn's dragon killing machine. Bronn almost dies, but doesn't. Same with Jaime and Dickon Tarly.

Stuff:

Who saved Jaime? Was it Bronn? I'm going with Dickon, because we saw him act the hero earlier in the battle, setting it up.

Jon meeting Theon was GREAT. There is so much history there, and the way Alfie Allen said "Jon" was utter perfection. He's been the low-key MVP for two seasons.

Davos is so awkward around Missandei, I love it.

There was some good awkwardness between Sansa and Arya. They never liked each other before, why should they start now? I have to think Sansa's getting a little peeved that she FINALLY has Winterfell to herself, and now all these siblings (with new talents) keep showing up. I'm looking out for ghost Rickon. That could be the thing that sends Sansa over the edge. (Until the Hound shows up at Winterfell, and he and Sansa fall in love, and all is right with the world.)

I mean, there was no way they were going to kill Jaime, but they definitely could've killed Bronn.

Tyrion. Is he having regrets?

What did you think?

I wrote a book! It's YA novel, THE SOUND OF US. You can find the details right here! Kirkus calls it "a winning story about a teenage voice student that hits all the right notes."

I also wrote another book, Any Boy but You, (You've Got Mail in the Pokemon Go era). You can buy it here.

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