American Idol Recap: Hollywood Week - Decimation

This episode was--mercifully!--only an hour. I love hour-long Idol!

It's not as easy to find a star these days, but it is easy to get rid of all the interesting contestants without letting us hear them sing again. Shenanigans.

Here are some of the folks we'll see again. (RIP preschool teacher Florence Welch)

Jordan Sasser. He's one of the dudes from the early auditions rounds who had an unfortunately named baby. He also has a man bun. I am actively rooting against this guy. His eventual fall from the judges' grace will be delicious.

Rivals Dalton Rapattoni and Jacki Butler. Dalton's hair is spiked in a very obvious and methodical way that suggests he spent all morning getting it just right. I couldn't hear his voice over the volume of his hair. His green-haired friend Jacki is screechy. So screechy.

Jenn Blosil: Speaking of "screechy." Her brother calls her "J-Blo," blow being the operative word.

Thomas Stringfield: Baby guitar boy. He's fine, I guess.

Olivia Rox: Much pink. So pink. That's all I've got.

Jessica Cabral: Yellow scarf, pretty voice. Not super memorable.

Sonika Vaid: Very milquetoast Disney princess.

La'Porsha Renae: Mysterious key earrings. What do they open??? I didn't love the tone of her voice at times. The Katy Perry song did her no favors. With the right song, she could be great.

Manny Torres: He can't feel his face when he's with you.

Daniel Farmer: Loves J-Lo too much, but he has a nice voice.

Shelbie Z: So country.

Jeneve Rose Mitchell: Girl who lives off the grid. Cello player. I enjoy her, but her schtick has the potential to go sour really fast. It's going to depend on her ability to keep it real and not let the Idol producers change her too much. She could be a Crystal Bowersox or she could be a Sanjaya. It's all up to her.

Gianna Isabella: She has a momager and a lovely voice. But she's kind of a curly-haired Lea Michele.

Tristan McIntosh: AKA the girl with the military mom. I'll just say: I hate that they kept her mom from her for who knows how long just to make sure they got a manipulative TV moment. That's not Tristan's fault. She seems lovely, though I thought her voice was better in the early audition round.

Michelle Marie: She maintains that she's the biggest Idol fan OF EVER. I'll stand by what I said before: The Idol hair people are chomping at the bit to get their meat hooks on her bangs.

Trent who has mono: Actually, I'll call him Mono Walton Goggins.

Poh Scott: Her sister was on last season, apparently. Poh's good.

Emily Brooke: Cut at Top 48 last year. She is Carrie Underwood lite. Very lite. Very, very lite.

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Tags: American Idol

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