Emmys 2015: Stay home next time, Frances McDormand

This being the internet, much has already been said about last night's Emmy awards telecast. Andy Samberg was fine, bordering on good. He seemed to be having fun and there were very few moments where I felt myself getting nervous for him.

Game of Thrones won most of the drama awards, which, while not for the show's best season, was fine. I was more upset about Peter Dinklage besting Jonathan Banks and Ben Mendelsohn in the supporting actor category. He spent most of the season in a box! (Not really, but it felt like it.)

Veep won in the comedy categories, which I really can't argue with. That's a fabulous show. Though I do wish the Emmy voters would spread the love around a bit in the acting categories. I adore Tony Hale, but was he better than Tituss Burgess, Andre Braugher, or Keegan Michael Key this year? I don't think so. In my opinion, this moment alone seals the deal for Braugher on Brooklyn 99:

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Julia Louis-Dreyfus won her sixth (and FOURTH consecutive) Emmy last night. What I love about JLD is A) EVERYTHING, but also that she never seems above it all. Going to the Emmys AGAIN should be a big old boring chore, but she never gives us that impression. She's always having fun. She's always game to participate in bits. She's always gracious and humble when she wins.

That brings us to (Oscar, Tony, and now Emmy winner) Frances McDormand. When she won for her acting work in the HBO miniseries Olive Kitteridge, she basically got up on stage, mumbled a thank you, and walked off (the wrong way, I might add, which tickled me. She thought she was going to do a whole big stomp off, but was then turned around by the lowly Emmy girl).

She won again later in the evening for producing Kitteridge, and she spoke a bit more. Just a bit, being sure to take a jab at Andy Samberg's joke telling books to "suck it," earlier in the night.

I've always liked Frances McDormand as an actress, but I thought her performance last night was a slap in the face to everyone who earnestly wanted to win an award last night, everyone for whom the award meant a bigger spotlight on causes that need spotlighting (Jeffrey Tambor), for whom the award meant making history (Viola Davis), for whom the award meant, simply, recognition for a job well done after so many years (Jon Hamm).

Yes, awards shows are kind of dumb, when you break it down. They're as meaningless as any sports trophy or top ten list in the grand scheme of things. They've been coopted by dumb red carpet questions and a voting bloc who seems intent on rewarding the same people year after year or other people several years too late. But for a lot of people who put their blood and sweat into a project, the awards do mean something.

Otherwise they wouldn't show up dressed to the nines or carrying speeches in their pockets. Otherwise they wouldn't have shown up in the first place. Otherwise they wouldn't have submitted themselves or had their "people" submit their work in the first place.

No next time, Ms. McDormand, bow out of the race from the get-go. Don't submit yourself. Or if you do, or if you're forced to do so by the network or the studio (or if someone on your "team" is desperate to get you a Grammy for the EGOT), don't show up for the ceremony. Bill Murray stays home. So does Maggie Smith. It's a baller move, really.

And that way, if you do win and aren't there to accept the award, it's one fewer half-assed speech for the audience to sit through. And we're grateful to have that time back.

That said, if you want to put time and effort into the speech, if you feel like wowing us, go for it. We enjoy that, too. Witness:

 

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Tags: Emmys

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