Yesterday was a weird day on the internet. Things were normal, but then I stepped away for a while to pick up my kids. When I returned, my Twitter feed was full of llama talk. Like, literally every post was llama-related. I backtracked to see what was going on, and apparently some llamas escaped from somewhere? That was as deep as I dug.
Then, after dinner, I checked Twitter and now everyone had moved on to The Dress. People were relaying their thoughts.
"It's blue and black!"
"No, it's white and gold!"
"I can't see a dress. Is there a dress?"
That last one was Stevie Wonder.
Scientific articles started popping everywhere. I didn't read any of them, but what I could gather from Twitter was this: The dress is blue and black; so if you see white and gold, your eyes are for shit.
This led to more memes (some of them llama/dress crossovers) and some backlash. And really this whole dress thing is the perfect encapsulation of what it means to be a person on the internet in 2015. Your response to the dress reveals more about you than just what your eyes see. What you say about the dress shows us who you are as a person.
If your response is "I see blue and black," it means:
- a) I see blue and black.
- b) I'm smarter/better than everyone else.
- c) I am a medical marvel.
- d) I'm the dude in high school who always claimed to have discovered every single band years ago.
If your response is "I see white and gold," it means:
- a) I see white and gold.
- b) I don't realize that I'm not supposed to see white and gold.
- c) I am a naive and innocent person, who is not swayed by public opinion.
- d) I loved 50 Shades of Grey, both the book and the movie.
If your response is "I see light blue and poo brown," it means:
- a) I see light blue and poo brown.
- b) I'm a loner, Dotty, a rebel.
- c) Yes, my eyes are shit, and I'm wearing that fact like a badge of honor.
- d) I never stopped "ironically" listening to the Backstreet Boys.
If your response is "This dress thing is a waste of time," it means:
- a) I came too late to the party to offer up any interesting insight.
- b) I don't know about The Dress, ergo I hate The Dress.
- c) I really want to say that I see blue and black, but saying so will go against my curmudgeon-like principles.
- d) I also complain when people talk about the Oscars, NASCAR, European football, Scandal, and any other popular thing I don't pay attention to. If I don't know about it, it's crap!
If your response is "What is this dress thing?" followed by "OMG! I see blue and black" two weeks later, it means:
- a) I'm your mother.
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