The Walking Dead review: "Four Walls and a Roof"

The Walking Dead review: "Four Walls and a Roof"

The Walking Dead has been very, very good this season. Things are happening. Characters are behaving like actual people, changing and growing and being dickheads.

And plot is moving.

The writers are letting no grass grow beneath Rick Grimes's feet. In the first episode, our zeroes did away with Terminus. In the second episode, they took up with Carver in a church, raided a food bank that had somehow not yet been raided, and saw Bob abducted by cannibals. And, in this episode, our zeroes took those cannibals out.

So goodbye, Gareth, Martin, and all your nameless friends. We hardly knew ye, aside from the stuff about you loving your mothers and liking to eat women and pretty people better than men and ugmos.

The title of this episode was "Four Walls and a Roof," which refers to Father Gabriel's home, the Lord's house, Saint Whozit's church. This place has been his refuge, both in regular life and post-Zombpocalypse life. He'd lock the doors every night. This kept him safe inside, but kept his parishioners out in their time of need. He locked the doors, and they died.

(Which leads me to Zombpocalypse Inconsistency #1: Dozens of St. Whatever's parishioners couldn't break into the church, but it took five cannibals five seconds to get inside? Check the locks, Father Gabriel. And check your story.)

The title also refers to the impermanence of "home" in the world of The Walking Dead. Nowhere is safe. Nowhere is permanent. There is no point in getting attached or too comfortable because as soon as you do, you'll be back on the road. The zeroes in the prison had to learn this lesson, as did the goofballs in Woodbury, and those lovely folks in Terminus. It's a lesson Father Gabriel is learning right now. You have to carry your home on your back, like a turtle, and you should probably pack the Lord in there as well.

But the story tonight started with Bob, his leg, and his big reveal. Yeah, the cannibals were eating him bit by bit, but what they failed to realize before cooking him to a nice medium-rare was that he's got the infection! He's been zombie bit! His shoulder is a festering pool of Jello and maggots. And now the cannibals have eaten his meat, which was probably also tainted.

(Which leads me to Zombpocalypse Inconsistency #2: Isn't everyone already infected? Isn't that the big problem? People turn to zombies when they die, not because they've been bitten, but because the zombfection already lives inside them? So haven't the cannibals basically been eating the zombie virus since they started hunting the most dangerous game?)

The people eaters knocked Bob out and brought him home, but he remembered where he had been -- a school, nearby. Yeah, Gabriel knew it. Ten minutes away, through the woods. The zeroes decided to pull one over on the cannibals, dragging them out of hiding and ambushing them at the church. The cannibals were completely duped. Rick and friends totally pulled one over on them, those cannibals who seemed so smart with their human cattle ranch. They were really nothing more than a bunch of red shirts. Our zeroes could really use a good foe at this point.

Now that the cannibals have been taken care of, Abraham, Eugene, and the girl one are off to DC (taking Glenn, Maggie, and Tara with them so that at least a few series regulars/POV characters can keep us apprised of their travels). Rick and the rest are twiddling their thumbs until Caryl returns. And Bob is dead.

Other stuff:

  • Bob's last words to Rick were lovely (even if they make me pretty sure we're going to see the return of kind, gentle, farmer Rick, i.e. barf). ""Even in light of current events, nightmares end. They shouldn't end who you are. And that is just this dead man's opinion...Just look at [Judith] and tell me the world isn't gonna change."
  • Speaking of Judith, I had been sure that Father Gabriel was working with the cannibals, but I was wrong. It was Judith! Judith was the mole!
  • "Tainted meat!" is going to be the new "It's people!"
  • I half wanted to Sasha to kill her own self with that knife so she and Bob could turn into zombies and be together forever. #TrueLove #starcrossedlovers #Richonne4EVA #RichonneIsLovesLastHope
  • A good big brother is a big brother who will stab your dead boyfriend in the head and then dig his grave for you.
  • But honestly, digging the grave was probably good exercise and Tyreese looks like he could use it.
  • At the end, Daryl stumbled out of the woods. Someone is with him, but who is it?
  • SPOILER It's probably Beth, and it looks like we're going to get a "Where has Beth been?" episode next week which will probably wind up as meaningless as the "Here's what the Governor's been up to" episodes last season. So I hope you've enjoyed these three decent episodes of The Walking Dead because they end now.

What did you think?

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