Sex tapes, MURDER, and more generic Froot Loops. Just another episode of Scandal.
The big story tonight was how Mellie and Fitz have other children! Everyone seemed to have forgotten that fact in the wake of dear Gerry's death. But now Karen is acting up, ditching her security, drinking, drugging, and "Eiffel Towering" two guys at a party 500 miles from her boarding school. That's how you do a complete First Daughter meltdown. Eat it, Bush twins!
Let's see how everyone reacted to the latest SCANDAL.
Olivia: She was Karen's first call after she realized just how deep a mound of shit she was in. Liv, of course, brought Quinn with her, the gladiator most likely to know her way around a Jell-O shot. The ladies got Karen out of there with the help of Huck, who has the power to shut down cell phones everywhere with the click of a button. He's a very useful sidekick.
Liv, via helicopter, dragged Karen back to D.C. to deal with her parents. She was about to wipe her hands of the whole thing, until the sex tape popped up on Karen's phone. That's when Liv went into official fixer mode. Sex tapes she can handle.
The gladiators found pictures of every guy at the party that night, Karen narrowed them down to about four guys she may have boned, and Huck and friends took it from there. They found the perps, shook down one, shook down the horrible parents of the other one, easy peasy time for cheeseburgers and wine.
Fitz: Fitz is killing me here. I've hated Fitz for three seasons; but I've been squarely in Fitz's camp so far this year. He's talking sense, he's becoming less politically conservative, he's been very supportive of Mellie, and he seems to have been using sweet Gerry's death as a catalyst for change in his life. I believe he truly feels remorse for some of the things he's done and that he wants to change and be a better husband and father.
Or at least I believed all those things until this episode.
Because now he's back in the Oval Office with Liv, and he's getting all grabby and whiny and sad-sacky and horn-doggy. We're right back to the #Folivia shit we (OK, I) hated so much in the earlier seasons. I think it was great the way he put Mellie in her place. He was right on with that. She needed to snap out of it, and he was correct that she was a waste of space who has been using her grief as an excuse while he's been trying to hold things together and run the country. He acknowledges that he hasn't been the best father in the wake of young Gerry's death, and he's willing to take responsibility for that. All of those things were excellent. And then he went and made a pass at Liv and got all butt hurt that she took Jake to the island with her for two months of sandy sex and wine club deliveries.
Take a seat, new old Fitz.
Mellie: She's finally getting her act back together, and it's all because of Fitz's dressing down. She suddenly realized that she has at least one more child after lovely Gerry, and now she's paying attention to mothering Karen. I loved what she said about how, if Karen had "Eiffel Tower-ed" because it turned her on and made her happy, that would be one thing, but Mellie knows that Karen did it because she was sad and numb and needed to feel anything at all. This was the most caring way for Mellie to deal with her suffering child, and kudos. Bellamy Young was on fire tonight, as she has been all season.
Feminism: It sucks that Mellie was right about this being less of a deal if the son of a president was caught in a sex tape instead of a daughter. It sucks even more that Mellie had to tell her daughter to keep her legs closed. After The Fappening, this whole women being punished for their sexuality thing is just making me tired and frustrated.
Cyrus: He's been Stage 4 dickmatized by that hooker. Cyrus better watch out or someone will be giving him the sex tape shake down.
B-613: Rowan is trying to kill Jake. Jake is trying to kill Rowan. Both of them are trying to use Tom. Fitz finds out that Tom poisoned lovable Gerry. Fitz makes an important phone call. Jake passes him an envelope. Rowan storms into the interrogation room and gets Tom to confess that Jake was the one who gave him the order to kill gentle Gerry. Jake gets arrested. Jake will probably die because he's going to be on Shonda's new show.
Jake also has the keys to the B-613 files, so maybe he lives and Scott Foley's new show becomes a Scandal spin-off where Jake just solves crimes and kills bad guys, hopefully with the help of Scott Speedman.
Otherwise, the B-613 stuff? I'm very Jay Cutler about it.
- Fitz had some choice names for Mellie: Smelly Mellie, being one of them.
- Remember the crime with Penny from Lost last week? She's been arrested for MURDER, but no time for that now. There are sex tapes to be hidden!
- Could you even see Liv doing a Jell-O shot? Her wine cardigan would never survive!
- Mellie offered Karen cereal. Perfection.
What did you think of this week's Scandal?
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