I paid twenty dollars this month to have my daughter's eyes and ears checked at school. Apparently it's mandatory? At this point I just write checks without question.
Her hearing checked out fine, which is confusing because she never hears me when I ask her to pick up her toys.
As far as the vision test goes, this box was checked:
"We attempted to conduct a vision screening on your child but were unsuccessful. Your child immediately lost interest in the procedure. This was the second attempt to conduct a vision screening on your child with no results."
Ouch, national hearing and vision screening test. Way harsh.
The way this is put, I feel like I'm the one to blame here. I've raised a child who has no attention span, who can't even sit still for two minutes to have her eyes checked. My child is the problem. My child loses interest immediately. My child failed this attempt twice.
Tell you what, national hearing and vision screening test, my child has been known to sit and write the same letter over and over again for her own edification. My child will not stop decorating a page until she has used every single sticker in the tri-state area. My child will make me read all twenty-six books in her alphabet book set without stopping. My child has the ability to pay attention to a task.
Ergo, I think your test is the problem.
Maybe your test is just boring as hell. Were there My Little Ponies involved or Curious George or Sophia the First? Did you play the song "Boom Crash" over the videos? Were there any kittens, puppies, or babies involved? Did you even think about your audience at all? Maybe you should take a good look at yourself in the mirror before you start blaming my shoddy parenting skills.
Enjoy this post? Click like on the Hammervision Facebook page and join the party.
Oh, and for more movie commentary and other fun, follow me on Twitter: @Hammervision
If you don't want to miss any Hammervision posts (and you will because Facebook keeps hiding us from you because Facebook is a butt), type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. Our list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.