I decided to put a pat of butter in my coffee this morning. I usually drink it black because I'm so hardcore, but my sister-in-law told me that butter is the new black, and who am I to argue?
I did a little research this morning while drinking my passé, unbuttered coffee. Apparently butter in your coffee is supposed to turn you into a superhuman or something. It's also supposed to take the place of actually eating breakfast, which, fuck that shit. Coffee is not breakfast. Coffee is the statement necklace that accompanies breakfast. You're also supposed to put two whole tablespoons of butter all up in there. That's a metric crap-ton of butter. I'm a Weight Watcher and I know that two tablespoons equals 6 points, which is (math) 6/26ths of my day. You reduce it. I'm busy drinking butter coffee.
I went to Mariano's posthaste and bought some Kerrygold Irish butter, because the internet told me that Kerrygold is the ONLY coffee butter approved by the Coffee Butter Society of America. As I sit here drinking it, it's pretty good. Not "I've died and gone to Heaven" good, but the one tablespoon I dropped in there is making my black coffee a bit thicker and creamier, and I'm OK with that.
I honestly couldn't care less if this is good for my body. I don't drink coffee for my health. I drink it because I'm an addict and I get headaches if I don't have at least two cups a day. Sometimes I want to spice up my relationship with coffee by adding things or cold brewing some iced coffee (which I'm in the process of doing right now more on that later). If later today, however, I wind up saving an old lady from a burning building or manage to lift a car off of a man in danger of being crushed, I'll let you know.
Related Post: Stone Cold Brewing Iced Coffee
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