I got a little bit of the side eye this morning at Trader Joe's.
I went there to get an orange and a sandwich, as you do. But while my daughter and I were standing at the counter drinking our free sample of lemonade, I noticed a cheapy-cheap bottle of wine on the sale rack that looked like it was about my speed (I like my white wines sweet and cloying, practically like wine coolers. I know. Stop judging me.)
Alongside the aforementioned orange and sandwich, I tossed the wine into the kid cart (yes, we were using one of the tiny child-propelled vehicles; no, I did not -- escandalo! -- have my daughter place the corrupting bottle of fermented grape juice into the cart herself).
When we went to check out, the woman at the cash register made a comment about my daughter pretending to be a dog (she's Method and very dedicated to her craft). And then the woman asked if dogs can drink, before making a big show of pulling the wine bottle out of the cart herself. Like a mom can't be buying wine at eight o'clock in the morning.
Then she made a big deal of asking me if I was old enough to be buying the bottle, kind of joking, but kind of with an edge. And then she asked my my birthday, and there was a tone that just didn't sit well with me.
I mean, it's not like I was going to head out to the car and chug that sucker. (Hello!? It was warm. Barf.) I just happened to be at the store and I saw a bottle of wine and I decided in that moment that it would be the perfect complement to tonight's Grey's Anatomy finale. Wine during the Grey's Anatomy finale is practically mandatory. Also? I'm thirty-goldarn-five years old and I can buy wine whenever the state of Illinois deems it legal for me to do so.
So, pearl-clutchers, what time is the appropriate time to buy a bottle of wine? And are you not allowed to have your child with you?
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