So, ha. Last week was not the Scandal midseason finale. This week was the Scandal midseason finale and, whoa, I'm glad for this extra hour. I'm sure Joe Morton is also glad for this extra hour because this is his Emmy reel. Rowan "Eli" Pope killed it tonight.
The episode was all about exits (as the title, "A Door Marked Exit" suggests). Let's review, shall we?
Daniel Douglas: Getting the most final of exits was Mr. Sally Langston, to whom the vice president took a letter opener last week. Sally called Cyrus after the devil came in and made her do the deed. He rushed to her side and flashed back to his role in all of this, the things he did to get them all to this point. And then he puked; because, yeah, a lot of this was Cyrus's fault. I'm proud of him for finally understanding that.
A doctor came in to confirm Daniel's death and Cyrus instructed Sally to be all, "Don't touch my dead husband! I love him so much!" She balked at first, but then played the part perfectly. The doctor stepped aside and said, "Sure. He's dead enough, I guess. I don't really need much more information than that." Cyrus and Sally were free!
Except. James tried to go to David with his suspicions that Cyrus and/or Sally might have something to do with Daniel's death. David, however, couldn't even give two shits because the last time he listened to James he wound up teaching high school and grading papers where every answer was a cartoon penis. But a girl who does some sort of fancy tracking job for the NSA or not the NSA (I don't know, people on this show talk so fast) somehow had a recording of Sally's incriminating conversation with Cyrus, so now David will probably have to prosecute somebody and Olivia Pope will take Sally on as a client. And conflict of interest, Abby and David will have to break up again, paving the way for his eventual post-trial hook up with Olivia. The show writes itself.
Sidebar: OK, so the doctor didn't check out Daniel's body, but the dude had an open casket at his funeral. Somebody embalmed him. Did that person not notice the stab wounds on Daniel's back? Or does what happens in a funeral director's basement stay in a funeral director's basement?
Quinn: Let's talk about Quinn next because I don't care. I would love nothing more than for her and Charlie to run off, never to be heard from again. Apparently when Huck was torturing her last week, he put a tracker where her tooth used to be. She was all about doing her duty for Pope and Associates, but was interrupted before she could kill Rowan (which nobody really wanted her to do anymore anyway). She went into a bathroom, ripped out the sensor, and went home with Charlie.
And then she showed up back at Pope and Associates, ready to re-gladiator herself, and Huck kicked her out. He told her she was no longer a gladiator. And so she returned to Charlie for another toothless make out session.
Sidebar: After leaving Rowan's office, Charlie tells her that he's sorry and that if "you snooze you lose." To what was he referring? Did he know that she was trying to kill Rowan? Oh wait. No. They went there to get the video tape of her killing the security guard. She and Charlie never got that. I just answered my own question, carry on.
Olivia Pope: She's the titular "door marked exit," at least that's how Rowan perceives Fitz's feelings for Rowan's daughter, the person he made. This scene was all kinds of Joe Morton goodness and it really highlighted just how much of a namby pamby Fitz is (that he would need to hitch himself to a woman in order to escape the path set forth for him by his rich father). Throughout the scene, Rowan kept calling Fitz a "boy" and telling him that the information Rowan had was above Fitz's pay grade, that Fitz could take out Rowan, but he'd never take out B613. The whole thing served to make Fitz seem like the most ineffective president of all time, and that's probably part of the reason I loved it so much.
The contempt Rowan feels for Fitz was palpable. Rowan even told the president that Fitz "disappoints me as a suitor for my daughter's hand." Burn. Slow clap.
Of course, Fitz does wind up getting the upper hand at the end of the episode, when he makes Jake the new head of B613. But since it resulted in Scott Foley wearing a suit and looking all authoritative, I think we all won this round.
Olivia's Mom (Marie Wallace/Maya Pope): She took a big exit, right out of that plane she was meant to ride to Hong Kong. It turns out that she was/is a terrorist, but she had no blood on her hands. She was just in it for the money. She was never going to die for whatever cause she was supporting at the time. This knowledge is what led Olivia to figure out that Mayarie made up the whole "there's a bomb on the plane" scenario just to save her own ass and to get the US government to shoot down one of its own passenger jets full of innocent people. No muss, no fuss.
No one in the Scandal-verse knows were Mayrie has gone, but Jake is on the case. Or if Fitz would just look out his front window...
- Olivia gets her ability to wear a white coat from her mother.
- "I put parts of my body inside parts of your body." David Rosen had very little screen time, but what little time he had he used to talk about genitals.
- And Harrison had even less screen time. What little screen time he had he used to listen to David talk about genitals and to look awesome in that badass coat.
- I'm not quite sure where they're going to take the whole Sally/Leo thing. I almost feel a romance building, which would be gross, but this show is known for its gross romances. Will Leo seek some kind of violent revenge against Cyrus? Probably. I could definitely see that happening. Leo the lion will protect his lady/livelihood.
- As far as Quinn goes, I think she's going to end up tracking down Liv's mother and that's what will get her back into Pope and Associates' good graces. And probably into Huck's pants. Because you know that's happening. See? Uncomfortable couplings. That's what Scandal does best. Just wait until Mellie and James start kicking it.
- I love Jake as the new head of B613, though I don't want to see him use his power to torture Rowan, whom I've grown to like a lot. I would like to see Jake use his new power to get himself and Huck a B613 Scandal spin-off. Maybe they can free Harrison and take him with them.
- What do you think will come of Rowan calling Fitz on all his bullshit? I think everything he said was true. Fitz will have to do a little soul searching. Does he really love Olivia, as he says, or does he see her as a ticket out of the life that makes him so miserable. For someone who claims to have such deep feelings for her, he was really quick to start spilling to her father all the nasty things Olivia likes to do in bed. That ain't love, Mr. President.
What did you think of the episode and of the season as a whole so far? What are your predictions for when the show returns in February?
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