3 Reasons Why One Direction Will Break Up

3 Reasons Why One Direction Will Break Up

Dear kids,

It's Auntie NeeNee here with some real talk. That band you love so much, that group of guys whose faces you have covering your pillows, that pack of boys from One Direction whom Simon Cowell Dr. Frankensteined into a musical act, will not stay together forever.

I know what you're thinking, "Auntie NeeNee, why must you rain on our parade? And, also, you're old, so shut up." But see, dear children, I've seen some things over the years. I've learned that nothing, not even Bon Jovi for goodness's sake, is permanent. And here's why I think you should enjoy the One Direction collective while you have it.

1. Musical groups break up. Sure, there are the exceptions that test the rule. But for the most part, people get together when they're young, they have some success, and then one or more of them decide to move on. It happened to The Beatles. It happened to The Monkees. It will happen to One Direction.

2. This group has a breakout star. I don't even listen to these people and I know who Harry Styles is. Eventually he's going to decide he's outgrown the rest of those guys. Even if he really hasn't. He's the Beyonce. He's the Justin Timberlake. Perhaps he's the Nick Carter. Maybe he'll go off and do his own thing for a few years before running back to the group. But he will need to run off. He'll need to see if he can make it on his own.

3. One member of the group, who's not Harry Styles, told Dean Richards that they know what they're in for and that they'll be together forever. That's the kiss of death, son. You'll be the first one Harry drops through a stage hatch during his inevitable MTV VMA Lifetime Achievement Award two years from now.

The good news in all of this, the light at the end of this long, dark tunnel, is that by the time Harry eventually jumps ship, you won't even care anymore. You'll be busy obsessing over a new band (or an old one) and eventually you'll be sitting in a bar with your college friends wondering, "I wonder what ever happened to...?" and then you'll hop on Google (or your ocular data pod) to find out what your discarded teen crush has been doing and you'll see that there's a One Direction reunion tour coming to your town. And even though Harry's not involved, you'll buy tickets and you and your friends will rent a party bus and you'll drink and you'll go and you'll sing along (ironically, of course, but secretly you'll be loving every minute of it), and then you'll go back to your real life and everything will be fine.

Trust Auntie NeeNee on this. There's always a reunion tour. Plus, you'll always have those pillow cases.

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Tags: One Direction

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