Breaking Bad Premiere Recap: Blood Money

Breaking Bad Premiere Recap: Blood Money

Walt's cancer is back. It's probably just lung cancer redux; but if it's revealed to be a brain tumor, then I'm about to look 95% less ridiculous than I did a year ago.

Tonight's episode started In The Future, where Walt has hair and a beard and an old Cadillac. His house stands empty, fenced in. Local skateboarders use the pool as a park. Walt shows up and walks through the house, which has been tagged with the Heisenberg name. He has come for one thing, and one thing only -- the vial of ricin poison that he left hidden behind a faceplate in his old bedroom. And I suppose the big question is, by the end of the season, who's going to wind up drinking a ricin-laced mocha latte?

It could be anyone at this point. Hank's a likely suspect. So's Jesse. Could be Junior, who's always so obsessed with doing whatever Lewis wants to do, and who was getting all sassmouth with his mother about college. That Walt might use it on himself is even a better possibility (though I feel like Walt could find better ways to kill himself; also is he just too enamored of himself and his ability to one-up everyone to even consider suicide? Unless the suicide is somehow related to one-upping everyone, in which case, he would kill himself. Now I feel like I'm Vizzini in The Princess Bride trying to confuse the hell out of Wesley).

When we finally get to "present day" in this episode of Breaking Bad, everything's coming up Walt (well, aside from the whole cancer thing). He's got tons of money, his marriage still exists, and he's thinking about expanding his car wash business. Skyler even has her eyes on a great new location.

But that's when people start disappointing Walt. Once he gets out of the business and starts living his like life the Walt of old, the whole operation starts going to shit. Does the man have to do everything himself?

Lydia shows up at the car wash (in a rental car, which Skyler notices right away, stupid fool). Ever since Walt jumped ship, the quality of the meth they've been shipping to the Czech Republic has gone down. It's not even the best meth on the market anymore! Walt is all, "Not my problem." And Skyler tells Lydia to get out of their lives and never come back and to have an A-One day. So that problem's taken care of. For now.

But then Jesse shows up at Saul's office with two bags of money and an aching conscience. He wants to split $5 million between Mike's granddaughter and the parents of the kid Landry killed near the railroad. Saul knows this is a bad idea and he alerts Walt to the situation. Walt shows up at Jesse's house and feeds him a boatload of lies about Mike being alive and Kaylee being taken care of and Santa Claus being real and probably being Mike because have you ever seen the two of them in the same place at the same time? Jesse nods and agrees and says that he believes Walt, even though he totally doesn't believe Walt.

Jesse starts sleeping in his car on a $5 million dollar pillow, and a homeless man approaches, asking for a handout. Jesse shoos him off, before realizing that this is a great way to get rid of that blood money he doesn't want, so he hands the guy a wad of bills. And then Jesse takes off in his car and starts tossing money at more homeless people for a new Discovery Channel reality show called Jesse Pinkman Presents...DUCK!

The person causing the most problems (though Walt doesn't even realize it at first, which has to make him SO MAD), is Hank. Hank took the dump that changed the world at the end of last season. He found Walt's Leaves of Grass book and put W and W together to realize that Walt is Heisenberg. Hank is so freaked out and excited that he can't even handle it. He puts the book in his bag, shuffles Marie out of the Whites' house, and throws himself into a car crash-causing panic attack. He takes a quick trip to the emergency room before going home and diving right into the Heisenberg case again. His lackeys from his office bring him boxes of evidence and it's like Christmas morning in his garage.

Walt realizes his book is missing when he goes to bathroom to barf from all the chemo. He asks Skyler about it, accuses Junior of taking it, and even rummages through the baby's crib looking for the book. Then he remembers that Hank pooped at their house during the last dinner party, because Walt is very into keeping tabs on his guests' bowel movements (actually, since Hank left the party so quickly after going to the bathroom, I guess it's not that weird that Walt would remember the incident). He goes outside and looks about to rush over to Hank's house, but then he kneels down and starts feeling the underside of his car. That's when he finds the tracker.

Walt heads over to Hank's the next day and tries to play it cool. He asks Hank if there's anything he'd like to say to him. Hank says nothing. Walt move to leave, but then he (read: his ego) thinks better of it and he turns around. He shows Hank the tracker and points out that it's the same kind the two of them used when they were tracking Gus Fring. Hank shuts the garage door and punches Walt. He tells him he knows Walt was Heisenberg. Walt tells Hank about his cancer and how he has only a few months to live and, therefore, he'll never serve time, so why break up the family over this? Hank says he couldn't care less about the family, that he doesn't even know Walt anymore. And then Walt goes pure Heisenberg and says, "If you don't know who I am, then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly." Boom. You knew Walt couldn't just sit back and let all the fools around him sink the ship he worked so hard to build.

Bits and Bobs:

  • Lots and lots of really great lines in this episode, but I'm going to single out Saul's masseuse for her delivery of "Barn door open."
  • I also loved the call back to the "Hello, Carol" from the cold open when we were treated to happier times when Walt's neighbors actually liked him.
  • The scene between Walt and Hank at the end of the episode is just stellar. Once that garage door closed, I knew "things" were about to go down. And they did.
  • Also, regarding Hank: I really thought he was a schmuck and kind of a bumbling idiot during the first season. He has truly earned the Jaime Lannister Award for Proving My Ass Wrong.
  • Skyler was all kinds of badass in this episode. Yay, Skyler, get yours!
  • I believe I'd like to play poker with Hank. I think I'd win lots of money.
  • I'm hoping that the endgame of this whole show is how Skylar became a car wash magnate.

What did you think of the episode? Who do you think will be getting ricin sprinkled on their corn-on-the-cob?

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Filed under: TV, TV Recaps

Tags: Breaking Bad

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