The Purge: An Ode to Fat Pants

This morning I opened my closet to see

A line of fat pants staring at me.

There were black ones and white ones

And pink ones and jeans,

Ranging from extra-large to the mid-teens.

I pulled them from hangers and off of the floor,

From the very top shelf, from the hook on the door.

I made a pile, a towering hill,

My daughter slid down it; she had quite a thrill.

We opened the garbage bag and shoved them inside,

My fat pants fit for a double wide.

I held up a few as I tossed them away,

Vowing not to need them again someday.

The last time I purged my closet I found

A bunch of pants who were hanging around,

Hoping I’d one day lose enough weight

To wear them out on the town for a date.

But now those pants are the fat pants too,

And I must go to the store and buy everything new.


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Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: diet


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