I’m sure there were people who watched last night's Walking Dead episode and thought, “Hey, that was a pretty damn fine hour of television.” Those would be the people who were watching The Walking Dead for the first time, who had no preconceived knowledge of Andrea or the Governor. Those of us who have seen every episode of the show were left wondering when something would happen to someone we actually cared about.
Maybe I’m unfairly critical of Andrea. She’s like the typical male writer’s version of a kick-ass heroine, but a lot less effective. She can handle a gun. She’s attractive. She’s bossy and nosy and whiny. And that’s what I can’t stand about her. She inserts herslelf into every single problem or fight, like she has all the answers. And she doesn't. She hasn't earned that vote of confidence from the audience or any of the other characters on the show. Hershel has. Rick has. Daryl has. Maggie has. Michonne has. Hell, even Carl has. Just because Andrea can deliver a speech, and not even a good speech, does not mean she's a character worth following.
So, I'm sorry, The Walking Dead writers. Your VERY TENSE hour of EXCITING chase television really did not amount to much. Because half the time I was thinking, "I really don't care if Andrea lives," and the rest of the time I was thinking, "Jeez, I hope they just kill each other." Because, come on. The Governor is no better.
What it comes down to with him is that both the Governor and the show are experiencing a deficit of cojones. If everyone really wanted the governor to be a bad ass, they wouldn't just rely on him wearing an eyepatch and playing with dental tools like Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors. They would've had him confront Cutty's (sorry TYRONE's) crew about the barbecued zombies. Then the Governor would've straight up shot Tyrone in the head (or Tyrone's sister, if you'd like), even though he knew Milton was the one who torched the walkers. He would’ve done it to prove a point, to prove he had the upper hand, and that the Woodbury residents should not mess with him. But instead, everyone keeps pulling the wool over his eyes, and I constantly picture him shaking his fist in annoyance at those crazy kids who keep spoiling his dastardly plans.
(Of course, if the Governor had killed Tyrone, I would've been back here this morning complaining about how the show always manages to off its African-American characters -- RIP T-Dog, NEVER FORGET. You can't win, The Walking Dead writers, so probably don't even try. Unless you want to bring T-Dog back, risen from the dead. Or give him his own spin-off show. We even have titles, thanks to Les Chappell: Ghost T-Dog or Touched By a T-Dog. Either of these scenarios would make you all American heroes.)
Back to the show: I never for a second believed that either Andrea or the Governor were in any danger for even a second, so that was also a problem. This show used to kill people without a thought. You never knew who was safe. We lost Shane and Dale in close succession. We lost T-Dog and Lori and New T-Dog and Other New T-Dog. And everyone who's left now seems invincible.
So, what else. Where did this episode get us in terms of story? The answer is: Not very far. Andrea is still in Woodbury, except now she's strapped to a dentist's chair in the Governor's sex dungeon, waiting for Sheriff Rick to come save her. (Which is also annoying, because if Andrea is supposed to be this kick ass broad, maybe she should save herself. Maybe I'm wrong, and she will. I don't have a Walking Dead-specific crystal ball. Prove me wrong, Andrea. Prove me wrong.) Milton was the one who cooked up the zombie brisket, and he's gonna hell raise all over Woodbury, which is probably the best tidbit of anything to come out of this episode. Because Milton rules.
Next week, looks like we get more war strategizing sessions, but this time over at the prison. So, don't expect much, is what I'm saying. And we see the TRIUMPHANT RETURN of Lori's ghost! What the hell is this show doing?
What did you think? Am I wrong? Did you love last night's episode forever?
Enjoy this post? Click like on the Hammervision Facebook page and join the party.
Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.