Golden Globes Talking Points for People Who Didn't Watch the Golden Globes

Golden Globes Talking Points for People Who Didn't Watch the Golden Globes

If the Oscars are the Super Bowl of entertainment, the Golden Globes are the BCS bowl games -- hard to make rhyme or reason of, mostly meaningless, and attended by a lot of drunk people who should avoid video cameras. So, if you were one of the millions of people who missed the Globes for one reason or another, here are a few talking points you can throw out at work to sound Entertainment Savvy.

  • "Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were great...I just wish we would've seen more of them."
  • "When Ben Affleck was up there giving his Best Director acceptance speech, especially when he spoke about the downturn in his career, would it have been too much for the cameras to pan over to Jennifer Lopez? I mean, come on. Missed opportunity to address the elephant in the room."
  • Choose your own adventure: "Lena Dunham is a national treasure who speaks for a generation and who deserves all the awards" or "Lena Dunham is overrated and only got where she is due to nepotism" or "Who's Lena Dunham?"
  • "Man, Taylor Swift does not like losing. So thank goodness Adele beat her."
  • "Four former presidents were represented last night -- Bill Clinton as himself, Josh Brolin as W, Daniel Day-Lewis as Lincoln, and Will Ferrell as Chester A. Arthur."
  • "Jennifer Lawrence was totally joking about the beating Meryl Streep thing. Besides, Meryl Streep loves that shit. She was probably at home, shaking from the flu, laughing her head off."
  • "All young actresses should take notes on how to give acceptance speeches from Jennifer Lawrence."
  • "Anne Hathaway needs to stop trying so hard to win our love."
  • "If the Golden Globes don't ask Tina and Amy to host again next year, they should definitely get Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell."
  • "Man, can the Oscars take back their nominations for best director and hand one to Affleck? Or can the voters just pencil in his name somewhere?"
  • "Someone needs to get Jennifer Garner her own Good Wife-type TV show and STAT."
  • "Also, someone needs to get Jeremy Renner a razor, Lea Michelle a lock on her tanning supplies, Jeremy Irons some Vitamin D, and leave George Clooney alone because he's perfect."
  • "You can expect Homeland to win the drama categories for the next three years, sorry Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and Downton Abbey."
  • "Though I don't love Girls and I think there are better comedies out there, I am glad that Modern Family's reign of terror has ended."
  • "If I never hear the words 'game' and 'change' together again, it will be too soon."
  • "Has anyone ever seen Don Cheadle's show on Showtime? Because it is not good."
  • Choose your own adventure: "Jodie Foster's speech was a beautiful, heartfelt moment of sincerity" or "Jodie Foster's speech turned what could've been something amazing into something that reminded me a lot of the time Clint Eastwood yelled at a chair" or "Who's Jodie Foster?"

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Filed under: Movies, TV

Tags: Golden Globes

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