Liberalism vs. Conservatism Finally Explained

George "Frakking" Will blew my mind today.

I was just minding my own business, watching This Week With George Snufflupagus, as we do, when George Will just up and explained the reason that liberals and conservatives will never see eye-to-eye.

It's all a misunderstanding of intent, you see.

Mr. Will was talking about Mayor Bloomberg's (ridiculous, I might add) idea to ban drinks over 16 oz. at various (randomly chosen, apparently) vendors throughout New York City. He says this: “Regulating the size of these drinks at some outlets will do nothing about it (American obesity problem)…what this really says is, what Bloomberg is saying, the government helps with your healthcare, the government’s implicated in your heath, therefore we own you.” He sees liberalism as inherently sinister, inherently Big Brother-y, like liberals won't be happy until they're living inside your va-jay-jay counting every egg that passes through your cervix.

He goes on to talk about climate control: “This is one of the reasons liberals are so enamored of the issue of climate change. They say all our behavior in some way affects the climate. Therefore, the government — meaning, we, liberals, the party of government — can fine-tune all your behavior right down to the light bulbs you use.”

And now I totally get it.

Conservatives Think: Government is scary. It does not care about you or your freedoms. All it cares about is taking your money and your religion and your guns. And you will believe me one day when you're boiling in some Soylent Green soup or competing in a Hunger Game.

Liberals Think: Big Business is scary. It does not care about you or the planet. All it cares about it taking your money so it can have more money. And you will believe me one day when Gordon Gekko has pilfered your savings and you sit there dying of lead poisoning from your Chinese dinner plates.

And this is why nothing will ever be solved the end.


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  • Conservatives believe too much government is scary. Let the individual states and people decide what they need and want. We dont need nor can afford all the government programs we have already. Thats why our taxes keep going up to pay for more silly programs. Schools should not be supplying breakfast, lunch and dinner. Children should be fed at home. Use your link card for food not dope. Recipients should have to pee in a cup before they get their check. Just saying.

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