The Golden Globes Happened Last Night...

The Golden Globes Happened Last Night...

And for the first time since I can remember, I didn't watch them live.

And I didn't much care.

You've probably heard who won (The Artist, The Descendants, Michelle Williams for a musical/comedy when her movie was neither musical nor very comedic) and who didn't win (Viola Davis, Brad Pitt, Ricky Gervais's watered down schtick). We cheered for the triumphs (Claire Danes, who is getting an early jump on the rest to become the Meryl Streep of her generation) and groaned for the obvious picks (shut up, Modern Family and Kelsey Grammer).

And then I went straight to bed without obsessing over injustices or attire.

Because this was just another awards show in a season cram packed with awards shows.

Hollywood is quickly starting to resemble college football with every tiny awards show becoming a BIG EVENT. I fully expect to see The Doritos/FedEx SAG Awards Brought to You by Lipitor in the next few years.

Not so long ago, really only about fifteen years ago, no one watched the Globes. No one talked about the Globes. No one even cared about the Globes. But then some genius on the Internet noticed that, "Hey! The Golden Globes are pretty good at predicting the Oscar nominees and eventual winners!" So the Globes became a thing.

And then another genius said that, "Yeah, sure, the Globes are PRETTY good at predicting the Oscars, but the Producers Guild Awards are even better." And, thus, we started paying attention to the non-golf PGA.

And then someone else was all, "You know, folks love watching everybody get drunk and silly at the Golden Globes. You know where people get even sillier? The Spirit Awards. Those indie actors be trippin'."

And so on and so forth until every miniscule award has been given the same credence and weight shown the Oscars.

Which is just a round about way of saying I kind of don't give two flying fraks about the Oscars this year.

We know who's going to be nominated (Bridesmaids). We know who's not going to be nominated (Harry Potter). We know who's going to win (The Artist, Octavia Spencer, Christopher Plummer, Viola Davis, hopefully Brad Pitt). The only wild card is whether or not Tilda Swinton shows up wearing something AWESOME. It has gotten to the point where I care infinitely more about the smaller awards during the telecast, like adapted screenplay or sound, just because those are the only categories in which the Academy will take risks with both their nominations and their eventual winners.

So, yawn.

(Spinning back to the Golden Globes for a second: I'd like to propose that the Internet start a campaign to get Filliam H. Muffman to host next year's Globes and/or Oscars. Get right on that, Internet.)

What did you think of the Globes? Are you looking forward to the Oscars? Have you even seen any of the frontrunners, like The Artist or The Descendants or The Help or any other movies with the word "The" in them?

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