1. Is there a video game I can buy that makes the inside of my house light up like Studio 54 during a lightning storm?
No. That's the magic of Breaking Bad. Sometimes time moves quicker than a ray of light and sometimes the light from a television set does amazing things. Also, you should probably not let your friends tag your house with graffiti during a party. You're going to regret it later, guaranteed.
2. Thank you for the tip, Emily Post. Now can you help me get the song "Car Wash" out of my head? It's been in there longer than it took Gus to slay Victor.
I can't help you with that. The title of this episode has put Belly's "Slow Dog" in my head. Is that better? I'm not sure.
3. Let's start with Skyler's little money laundering scheme. She's really over her head, isn't she?
Yeah. I thought she'd have this whole thing figured out by now. She made so many impressive spreadsheets while she was trying to buy the car wash. How did she forget to ask Walt exactly how much money she needed to launder? I'm no math wizard or successful business lady, but I think that would have been my first question for him. How much money do you make, Walt?
4. She needs an operation like Gus has.
That man is the money laundering king. He has El Pollo Loco and some big electronics conglomerate and probably a nail salon and a strip club. Plus he's besties with all the cops. No way Gus is ever gonna get found out. Except...
5. Except for Hank?
Apparently Hank's big accident in the parking lot knocked some sense into him. He's a super sleuth. And now he's got Junior helping him. They are the Americans with Disabilities Act's poster men for badassery. They get around, eat chicken, and bring down multi-national drug rings. And they always get the ladies. You know that's true.
6. Was Hank always this savvy?
Maybe one of his "minerals" has given him super brain power.
7. What did Hank figure out?
Well-zies, you know he found the El Pollo Loco bag in crunchy vegan Gale's house. What the hay, right? Why would a crunchy vegan meth doctor have a chicken shack bag in his home? So Hank and Junior saddled up in Hank's van and headed on over to the local El Pollo Loco's for some wings and things. And who just happened to be there? Best friend forever of the New Mexican branch of the D.E.A., one Mister Gustavo Fring. Gus was all, "Hank, you are looking well. Thank you for patronizing my business, drug enforcement hero. Let me get you another Diet Coke. It's very refreshing." And so, without even thinking about it, Gus grabbed Hank's cup -- with his bare assed hand! -- and refilled Hank's drink. Leaving fingerprints all up on it. And Hank saved that cup and ran those prints and, lo and behold, they matched one of the prints on vegan Gale's El Pollo Loco bag. Curious. What business would Gus have in Gale's apartment. Why, meth business, that's what!
8. So Gus is going down?
One way or another, it would seem. But maybe not. Nothing is that cut and dried. This isn't True Blood, after all. I feel like Gus is going to get busted for jaywalking or tax evasion or something.
9. Or maybe Jesse will just kill him.
I am not seeing that happening. Jesse had two opportunities to off Gus at Camp Overkill in the middle of the desert. He could've poisoned his coffee and he could've shot him pointblank in the back of the head. But he didn't. Because either A) he feels too much remorse for all the killing he's done to this point or B) because he honestly believes Gus thinks highly of him as a person. Maybe Jesse has been throwing his most important asset -- his loyalty, you perverts -- behind the wrong man all this time.
10. Can we talk about Jesse and his N.A. meeting?
I suppose, because that did address the title of the episode and all. I thought it was kind of an interesting look into Jesse's mindset. He does all of these "horrible" things -- he cooks meth, sells it, takes it, kills people, wears shirts with half a Jesus face on them -- with no repercussions. If he can get away with all this, legally and emotionally, then what does it all mean? His N.A. leader tells him to stop judging himself and to accept what he's done. Jesse tells him that the only reason he was in the meeting to begin with was to sell all the recovering addicts meth. Did the leader accept that? No, he said. And then Jesse left.
11. What now for Jesse?
He's at another crossroads. Jesse is always at a crossroads. Does he band together with Mike to become the greatest assassin ever to walk across the desert? Does he remain loyal to Walt? Does he switch his loyalty to Gus? Does he change his name to Sally and move to the mountains of Utah? Most importantly, upon whom is he going to use his cigarette poison? Gus? Mike? Walt? Himself? It's going to come into play at some point.
12. So how crazy is Walt right now?
He knows he's a sitting duck, so he's just being a freaking idiot at this point. He's doing donuts in parking lots. He's blowing up Junior's impulse car instead of returning it to the dealership. He's cooking poison in the lab under all of the cameras that conveniently do not film him when he's in the break room. Isn't the break room where you'd most need cameras if you were, you know, intent on keeping tabs on your employees' desire to rebel against you? The break room is where shit goes down. Everybody knows that.
13. Anything else?
The big question right now is, "Who's the boss?" As in, "Who's the boss of the guys who have been hijacking Gus's trucks?" I don't know how this is possible, but could Walt be behind the hijacking? Mike? The cashier girl at El Pollo Locos?
What did you think of last night's episode? Who do you think is behind the hijackings? Upon whom is Jesse going to use his cigarette poison? Let me know in the comments.