Two big celebrity "announcements" came out this week. One, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are having their third child. And two, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are separating. Or not. Or yes? Or who knows. Both couples have been the subjects of all kinds of rumors over the past few years -- infidelity, Scientology, homosexuality, kid-pimping -- but both couples have stayed together despite the almost insurmountable odds of being good-looking, talented rich folks.
I met the news of the Garfleck spawning with happiness, and I know I would meet the news of the end of their coupledom with tears and sadness (hyperbole). They are my favorite celeb couple, insomuch as I have a favorite celeb couple, and I hope they become the new Newman/Woodward, despite the existence of Blake Lively and the newly single J-Lo.
But I met the announcement of Will and Jada's separation with a little bit of Schadenfreude. And I like Will and Jada. Or, maybe I used to. Lately they've become too movie star-ish, they've become guarded and slick, they've become the people who talk about how much sex they're having, they've become the people who protest too much. And so when word came out that they were having problems, I became Nelson Muntz.
So what did B'Jen Flecknar do that Jill Sminkett didn't do?
- They never appear in public together. That creates a sense of mystery. See also: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, another couple I root for despite the fact that one of them writes Goop and the other one writes Coldplay songs.
- They let their kids be kids and they don't (yet) force me to see their children's movies or force Jimmy Fallon to make parodies of their children's songs. Another pet peeve, when celebrity parents pretend that their kids got their show business jobs solely on the strength of their talent and not on the strength of the Men In Black box office. Please. Only Tori Spelling can claim that, because *she* auditioned for 90210 under a pseudonym. "Maury Felling," I believe.
- One member of the Bennifer 2.0 coupling was in one of my all time favorite TV shows ever and I will fight to the metaphorical death for any cast members of these shows. (Those shows include, but are not limited to, Felicity, Alias, Lost, Arrested Development, and The Wire).
Are there any celebrities who you blindly root for (or against)?
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