18 Questions About the 'Breaking Bad' Premiere: Box Cutter

1. Ho. Lee. Shit.

Right?

2. What the?

I know.

3. So, I suppose, let's take a moment for the dear, departed Gale, right?

Let's.  Gale was Walter's lab assistant in Gus's Happy Time Laugh Meth Factory last season, until Walter needed to help Jesse and then Gale got kicked to the curb.  And then when Walter and Jesse frakked up, Gus threatened to bring Gale back again and so he could murder Jesse and Walter and the blue meth would continue on ad infinitum with a recipe passed on down through generations of Gales.

4. What did we learn last night (via flashback) about Gale the man?

That bastard loved himself some chemistry.  And when he discovered the blue meth of Heisenberg, Gale was all, "Shoot, Gus, you don't want me brewing up my namby pamby little 96% pure crystal.  You want Mr. 99% in charge of the lab.  I can't, nay, I won't mix my three percent less perfect meth anymore knowing that Heisenberg is out there doing it better and bluer.  You must bring this Heisenberg character into our lab so he can rain his knowledge down upon me and so we can live happily, chemically ever after because I know we'll be bestest friends and everything Heisenberg touches turns to gold."

5. But things didn't turn out so rosy for Gale in the end, did they?

I don't know.  I guess it depends on what you consider "rosy?"  Does a pointblank gunshot to the eye fall under the header of "rosy?"

6. I suppose it depends.

Naturally.  I personally think that Gale would be more upset about the damage done to his tea kettle.

8. I suppose you're right.  What happened next?

Well, Victor ran up and found Gale all dead and stuff and the neighbors all lookie-loo-ing.  Can't those people just mind their own business, I mean, man?  "Oooh!  We heard a gunshot!  Oooh!  We need to check it out and call the police!"  Get a life, people.

9. Did anyone arrest Victor for being creepy?

No.  He took Jesse back to the lab where Walter was sitting with the Mike of Little Expression.  And Mike was none too happy with Victor.  He couldn't sweep Gale's apartment because of the nosy neighbors.  And they saw Victor's face, but Victor was all, they could never pick me out of a lineup.

10. I have a feeling this is not going to end well for Victor.

You would be correct.  Things started off well.  Walter kept trying to make the case to Mike that he and Jesse needed to get their cook on in order to make quota, but Mike was all, "Erm.  I don't know..."  So Victor just up and started cooking the meth.  Because he'd watched Walter do it a million times.  And he was totally winning at cooking meth!

11. Score one for Victor!

To the Victor go the spoils.  That was horrible.

12. Terrible.

But then something very ominous happened.  Gus walked in.  He walked in very slowly.  He walked in as Walter talked a blue streak about how inept Victor was (even though he really wasn't inept.  I think that pissed Walter off most of all).  Gus went over to where they keep the meth-making outfits.  He hung up his jacket.  He took off his shirt.  He put on some lab clothes.  He grabbed the titular box cutter out of the drawer.  Upon whom was he going to use it?  OMG.  The tension.

13. No other show would've let this scene move at such a slow pace.

Definitely not.  And that was the brilliance of it.  You knew he was going to wield some serious damage with that box cutter.  But where was he going to make the cut?  Walter?  Mike?  Jesse?  Nope.  He walked straight up to Victor and, without a blink, scored his jugular with the blade and then held open the wound until Victor bled out.  All over the lab floor.  And then Gus dropped the body to the ground with a thud like the period of a sentence.  And Gus took a reverse lap around the lab, washing his hands, putting his shirt back on and his jacket, and making the slow march back up the stairs.  It was gripping, terrifying stuff.

14. And that was it?

Pretty much.  Gus did turn around and tell Jesse and Walter, "Well, get back to work."  And then he left.  And Walter and Jesse were like, "Screw this noise."  And they bought some new clothes (matching Kenny Rogers T-shirts -- Walter forgot to take off the size sticker) and went to Denny's for food.

15. What did they eat?

Jesse got pancakes or something?  Walter was too keyed up.  He knows that Gus's slaying of Victor is just a warning to them that he's going to make their lives miserable.  His translation of Gus's actions: "If I can't kill you, I'll sure as shit make you wish you were dead.

16. What about Walter's family?

Skyler is angling to be BFF with Saul, who is totally paranoid at this point, searching for bugs in his office, hiring a huge bodyguard, making phone calls from pay phones in the middle of nowhere.  Also, Skyler doesn't really want anyone to know that she might be kind of back together with Walter or whatever.  And they're still paying for Hank's physical therapy.

17. How is Hank?

He's obsessed with buying minerals online.  Maybe he should hook up with Maxine from True Blood, who likes to buy all the Marie Osmond dolls.  Hank doesn't seem too impressed with his wife these days.

18. Anything else?

Walter is still lying to Skyler even though she knows most of his business by now.  He spared her the gory details about his day.  Oh, and there's a book of lab notes in Gale's apartment/crime scene.  No doubt,that little notebook will cause some big problems for some people by the time the season is through.

What did you think of the season premiere of Breaking Bad?

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