By Julie - Hammervision,
April 13, 2011 at 10:01 pm
So, pretty much, this season of Idol has evolved into a smorgasbord of various musical stylings.
Sorry. That sentence almost made it sound like this season is interesting or something when, in fact, it's so not. Each and every one of the singers is staying in his or her "lane," as they say. They are staying in their lanes in the most boring ways possible. They're all going the speed limit and nobody's passing anybody. No one's even honking their horns, trying to get the attention of the cute guy in the car in the next lane over.
At this point the finale is just going to come down to which genre has more fans.
It's Team Lean-Heavy Old School Country vs. Team Obnoxious Bubble Gum Pop Country vs. Team Klumpian Gospel vs. Team Heavy Metal vs. Team Pretend Jazz Band vs. Team '90s Boy Band vs. Team Chipmunk Folk vs. Team Growly Hand Waving.
Which song styling will prevail? Only time will tell. (I will tell you, in the interest of full disclosure, my iTunes playlist is pretty heavy on the Chipmunk Folk genre. Can't resist it.)
You know who might have some insight on this whole situation? Why, Will.i.am, of course! He freaking showed up at the Idol studios again. I think he's just living there at this point. Does he not have a home? Go to your home, Will.i.am!
Actually, better yet, don't go to your home. Send the bland plastic sorceress, Steven Tyler, back to your home. You take her place, Will.i.am. At least you have something of value to add to the judges' table. Like a functioning brain and some actual thought.
What else? A few notes...
J-Lo's publicist must have given up some pretty special favors to People Magazine to have her client named the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. (I'm so cynical. These "awards" always reek of "publicist interference" to me.)
J-Lo to Pia last week: "I wish there was something we could do." There was. But you wasted it on Casey weeks ago.
These Idols referenced a lot of really bad, really random movies tonight. Heavy Metal? Pure Country? Really, guys?
Last week we got Christian Slater. This week we get Hank Azaria, Rob Reiner, and Elvira.
Performances from Best to Worst:
Casey Abrams - A- (Points docked for voice)
James Durbin - A- (Points docked for not picking a Tenacious D song)
Stefano Langone - A-
Haley Reinhart - A-
Paul McDonald - B
Lauren Alaina - B-
Jacob Lusk - C-
Scotty McCreery - F (for effort)
That's a lot of A-minuses. I think I'm grading on a curve at this point. I would never place any of those performances in the pantheon of great Idol performances.
Your Bottom 3, America: Jacob, Stefano, Paul
Hearing the David Cooksian Death March Tomorrow Night: Jacob
What did you think of "Terrible Movie Night" on American Idol? Are you bored of these jokers yet? Is there anyone left in the competition you would ever remotely consider paying to hear in concert?
Hammervision is movies. Hammervision is TV. Hammervision is the creative byproduct of a marriage built on a mutual love of all things popular culture. John and Julie Hammerle have been watching movies together since Face/Off was in the theaters. John is an attorney at a Chicago law firm. Julie is not. They have two kids and a dog named Indiana.
Email at hammervision[AT]gmail[DOT]com