American Idol Recap - Mo' Motown

The American Idol MVP Award, the most prestigious award we at Hammervision can bestow upon any single living person, goes tonight to Ms. Jennifer Lopez. 

The lady offered valid, coherent critiques without using made-up words.  She slyly infused one of her critiques with the word "niche" knowing full well it would jog our memories and bring to mind Paula Abdul, about whom we'd all say, "Man, that Paula was a nice lady, but damnit if she wasn't a horrible judge of singers.  Good thing we have this new woman on the panel.  She can string sentences together, and she thinks before she speaks.  And she wears iridescent sequins paired with teal eye shadow:"
J-Lo Sequins
Really the sequins and eye shadow thing would've been enough to earn J-Lo the award; but, always the overachiever, she actually threw in some thoughtful criticisms as well.  
Here's how your Top 11 fared, America:

Other Notes:

  • So many celebs in the audience tonight.  Liv Tyler!  Kiki Dunst!  Some guy from Aerosmith! Another guy from Motown!  Jennifer FREAKING Beals!
  • Secrest totally tried to sabotage Stefano last night by mentioning David Cook's "Hello" rendition right before poor Joey Tribs was about to take the stage.
  • I laughed so hard when Randy mentioned that Seacrest and Stefano have something going on.  If this proves that The Dawg reads Richard Lawson's Idol fanfic over on Gawker, it makes me respect him ever so much more.
  • Paul performing "Tracks of My Tears" just reminded me of the time Adam Lambert sang the song on the show and asked Smokey about his inspiration for the song.  Smokey gave a frighteningly deep answer (at the 50 second mark) and Adam gave him one of the best reactions of all time:

Performances from Best to Worst:

Jacob Lusk - A
Naima Adedapo - B+
James Durbin - B
Stefano Langone - B
Pia Toscano - B-
Lauren Alaina - B-
Paul McDonald - C+
Baby Lockthemdoors - C
Casey Abrams - C
Thia Megia - C-
Haley Reinhart - D+
Your Bottom 3, America:
Thia, Haley, and (shockingly) Seth Rogen
Who's Going Home?
The "Heatwave" is going to take down Thia.  As is her lack of personality.
What did you think?  Are you ready for Idol to finally retire Motown Week?

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