American Idol Recap - Let's Hear It for the Boys or Whatever

The early audition rounds are over and it's time to get down to the meat and potatoes of American Idol.  And it's time for me to start recapping again.  
Here are my credentials:
  • I've been writing about Idol since back when people thought American Idol: Taylor Hicks had a nice ring to it.  
  • I'm a classically trained singer.  Really.
  • My go-to karaoke songs include "Fading Like a Flower" by Roxette and "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.
Let's get down to it.  
Seacrest kicked off the show looking about ten years younger than he did last year.  He really is the new-style Dick Clark.  He posed some questions to the judging panel, asking Randy how it feels to be working with Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler.  Randy's response:
"Ryan, I'll tell you what, dude.  It's a blast; we had a fun time out on the road.  I mean, it's like they've been doing it all their lives.  And right, Ryan?  Season 10: The Remix, right?  You guys like the remix?  Is it hot?"
And that, my friends, is the most insightful thing you'll hear from Randy Jackson all season.  
Let's talk about the boys, who were allowed to sing any song (for which the Idol Powers That Be were willing to shell out the money) of their choosing:

I think it's important to note that there are different kinds of contestants in this group of twelve:

  • The Authentics, the ones who are musical, have unique voices, bring more to the song than just their voice, i.e. Seth Rogen, Hipster Beard, and, maybe possibly the jury's still out, Baby Lambert.
  • The Voices, the ones who can sing but are more concerned with vocal acrobatics than with infusing the song with meaning, i.e. The Class, Baby LockThemDoors, and Luther Lite.
  • The Good Karaoke Singers, the ones you'd love to hear in a crowded bar but not in your living room, i.e. Alton Brown, Tim Halpert, The Joey Tribbianis I and II.  
  • The Why Are They Here Over More Talented Singers Who Received Fewer Air Time, Thank You Uncle Nigel, i.e. Larry from The Three Stooges and Diva.
What did you think of the boys?  Who's a lock for the Top 10?
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  • Yes!!!! I've been looking forward to your recaps. I agree with you completely on Scotty and Casey and Jordan (What was that?) and Paul. But I actually like Jacob a lot. And I liked Clint last night. I'm glad you noticed Scotty's lean. I couldn't even focus on the singing because I just wanted him to get back upright. But he didn't. My faves are Casey and then Paul and Jacob and Brett and Clint. Keep up the good work!

  • In reply to UnpagedCrowd:

    Thanks for the nice comments! I think I'm in the minority on Jacob, but I am ready to be wowed by him if and when he brings it to the waltz.

  • Excellent recap, but I think you're being a bit harsh on Jacob and Babylockthemdoors. Jacob has a pretty fascinating voice. He's not going to win. He's not relevant. But he's a good contestant for this show. As for Babylockthemdoors, close your eyes and listen to him, and he really does have a great country voice. I would never buy his records. I would never vote for him. But he does what he does, and I think he does it well. He deserves to move on. I am blinded by Paul's white smile - that thing is crazy white. But he chose the right song. Casey and Shambert did the best last night. Funny though - there is a clear disparity in the guys. 5 are good and worthy of advancing to the next stage (Shambert, Babylockthemdoors, Paul, Jacob, Casey). 7 are not.

  • In reply to Hammer:

    I am harsh, but I don't think I'm being too harsh. I'm just not feeling it with either of them yet. They both have good voices, but I want them to be transcendent.

  • Like the way you throw the Hicks name in to get more hits. Season 5 was the most watched. Ever since Taylor used the show, I've been busy watching his incredibly busy and entertaining life. And listening to his fantastic voice and band. That plus my own life is all I have time for. Know nothing about these people.

  • In reply to tyrpen:

    Does Taylor Hicks get me more hits? Really? I'm shocked. Who's Google Alerting his name these days? And why...?

  • In reply to Magistra:

    I had to change my name , wouldn't accept the oneanddone for some reason. Did you get my earlier reply? I know you are not interested, but you sure are missing out. Woo! dancing at the end!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKlETR535dc

  • Larry from the Three Stooges will probably get in. Calling it now. Even if America doesn't put him through, I think Jenny from the Block will find a way to get him into the top as a wildcard.

    As for my personal favorite...I have suddenly found myself entirely in low with Hipster Beard. He could sing me to sleep and I wouldn't kick him outta bed in the morning.

  • In reply to RunningJayhawk:

    Hipster Beard is oddly appealing. Especially in his white suit adorned with all the roses. And I like his voice.

  • ...and that should say "entirely in love."

    I shouldn't be allowed to type before coffee.

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