'True Blood' Finale Recap: All Hail Jason, King of the Hillbillies!

Adieu, Alcide!  See you next summer!

From my recap at phillyBurbs.com:

So after sitting through the worst pre-finale show in the history of pre-finale shows (Hey, everybody!  It's our countdown to True Blood!  Get ready for two minutes of actual True Blood content and a half hour of...commercials for our upcoming HBO programming!), we were treated to one of the most anti-climactic finales in the history of finales.  This felt like more of a setup episode than an actual finale.  And that may have been how Alan Ball and his cronies viewed it, since they're already working on Season 5, which picks up right where this season left off.  But with more witches! 

All right, whatever.  We'll worry about the witches next summer.  Let's talk now about what actually happened in this final episode of True Blood Season 4.

The Vamps: When we last saw the bloodsuckers, Eric had handcuffed himself to Russell and was waiting for Sookie's fairy blood to wear off so they both could die at the hands of the sun.  A minor snag in the plan happened when the ghost of Godric appeared to Eric telling him to forgive Russell and to let the past go.  Eric chose not to listen to his dead maker.  Because who listens to a dead maker?  Especially when probably said dead maker is just a figment of one's about-to-be-scrambled-by-the-sun's-heat brains?

Sookie, who minutes ago was just chillin' in Fangtasia waiting for Russell to die, had mentally escaped to her fairy land under the Phantom of the Opera chandelier.  But she got rudely dragged back to reality and decided she needed to save Eric.  Eric pooh-poohed this idea, but eventually Sookie used her light and blasted through the silver handcuffs (not to mention through Russell's face).  She dragged Eric inside and left Russell out in the sun to die.

Safely back in Fangtasia, Sookie gave her blood to Eric (despite Bill's insistence) and newly strong Eric decided that he needed to save Russell after all.  Because it's what Godric would've wanted and blah blah blah.  No one much seemed to cotton to this line of thought, but because Eric was going to go outside and sacrifice himself again, Sookie stepped up to the place and hauled him back into the bar with silver chains wrapped around his neck.

Russell was tied to a pole after that and started bargaining for his life.  He told Eric that he would reward him handsomely if he kept him alive.  While Sookie was left to watch Russell as the others took a power nap ("Don't stake him," were Eric's only instructions), Russell offered her $5 million plus his mansion plus the murders of both Bill and Eric.  She was all, whatever.  She knew it was a trap.  He took a different tactic then and talked about how her blood is paradise and how Bill must be the Sting of vampires because he's been practicing tantric bloodletting on Sookie.  If Russell had gotten his hands on her first, he would've drained her in the first five seconds. 

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Tags: Recaps, True Blood, TV

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