True Blood: Rise of the Decepticons

From my True Blood recap at

Oh, so much True Blood deception!  Who's lying?  Who's truthing?  Who's going to deep, dark supernatural places in their dreams and drug-induced hazes? 

Let's try to figure out who's to be believed, and who just wants to hook up with you so he can stake you through the heart.

Sookie, Bill, and Eric: So, the big secret is that Sookie's a fairy.  But I feel like I've known that for a while.  Maybe I accidentally read it on a spoiler site, or maybe I realized it during a particularly potent V trip I took with Lafayette. 

Here's what you need to know about Fairies.  They taste delicious.  They're like Bananas Foster meets chocolate soufflé cake.  And vampires love to eat them.  According to legend, vampires loved the taste of fairy blood so much that they actually drained them all to the point of near-extinction.  Plus, fairy blood can do magical things, like allow a vampire to survive in the sunlight.  I think it's also responsible for Rutina Wesley's lip quiver. 

Bill told Sookie about her fairy lineage (which he had found out about from Claudine the Coma Fairy).  She was all like, "A fairy?  That's kind of lame.  You vamps get to be all cold and mysterious.  I just get to flit around in an iridescent skirt and wings."  Then she thought about things a bit and accused Bill of only loving her for her tasty dessert blood.  He laughed this off and was all, "No way, Sookie!  I love you for your ability to keep your nose out of other people's business."

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Tags: Recaps, True Blood, TV


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  • Is True Blood TOO gay?

    Check out the debate currently raging around the HBO vampire saga

  • Julie, you should read the books. They are much better and more indepth.

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