So You Think You Can Produce a Suspenseful Results Show?

Singlet

Tonight the Top 10...er...11 dancers were revealed on your favorite summertime TV obsession, So You Think You Can Dance.  

I have to commend the show for condensing the pre-auditions and Vegas round into three short weeks.  Three weeks into the American Idol season, we still had about eight weeks of road auditions to go.  We're jaded and busy TV viewers these days.  We want to get to the meat of the show ASAP.  We don't need to see buffoons performing crimes against nature on stage to Britney Spears' "Toxic."  We want good dancers!  Thank you, SYTYCD, for delivering.  
There are other lessons to be learned from SYTYCD, if you ever want to consider producing your own reality competition show.  Witness:
1. Never EVER bullshit the British judge.  Ida Saki, one of my early favorites, decided to drop out of the competition after receiving some negative reviews.  She told Nigel that she was leaving because she had a great college-related dance opportunity (Better than the opportunity to dance on TV in front of millions of people?  Ich don't think so).  Nigel guesstimated that if she had received positive critiques during Vegas week, quitting never would've crossed her mind.  She said that wasn't true.  Nigel gave her a look that said, "Don't play me, sisterfriend. I'm Dr. Bullshit."
2. Throw the contestants a bone every once in a while.  Tyce's choreography is so easy that a second grader could do it.  Apparently, I mean.  Just about everyone made it through to the next round after dancing the Tyce-created Broadway routine.
3. Themes are great!  This year's theme was The Simpsons (Corporate synergy, you know). Not only did they have one dancer who looked like she had Marge Simpson hair, but they also had another dancer who looked just like Yeardley Smith.
4. Create drama where there is none.  Some of the most talented and best loved dancers of the season (so far) frakked up royally (Or so the judges would have you believe.  The dance didn't seem as gawd awful as they made it out to be) during the group round.  Shankman wanted to cut the lot of them for making him sit through that dreck-itude.  The judges huddled for a conference and something was said that made Toni shout, "NO!"  Nigel sat back down and pronounced the entire group safe without even putting the decision to a vote.
5. Encourage the wearing of tight red dance outfits for the well-built men in the competition.  See above picture for illustration.

6. Above all else, in reality television, humility is king.  No one wants to root for the over-confident teen, who's never had a problem in her life (which is why I question how well cheerleader Lauren Froderman will do in the competition).  The way to get the voters to love you is to be awesome, but act like you don't know it.  Demure to the more experienced dancers.  Admit that you were just happy to make it to Vegas for the pure learning experience of it all.  In other words, be just like Kent "Woody" Boyd, who I think is the frontrunner to win the whole shebang at this point.
7. A phone call equals the kiss of death.  Nigel's not going to give you good news over the phone, so if he says he'll call you, be very afraid.  Exception to the rule, if you're the cute Kaley Cuoco-esque cheerleader he's been flirting with the entire season.  He'll call you, but then he'll be out on your doorstep making nice with your mail carrier.
8. A red singlet won't get you everything.  Witness poor fox of a man Anthony Burrell, who has to wait until next year.  Hopefully he'll come back.  With more revealing dance outfits.
9. If you're the only one left with no formal training, it's time to get excited.  They need to have someone without formal training.  It's what this show is all about.  So, congratulations, Jose Ruiz.  You are the Ivan/Dom/Legacy of this season.
10. A TV program can look over any number of sins against dance if you look like Jennifer Connelly or Sloan from Entourage.  Just ask Melinda "Tappa Tappa Tappa" Sullivan or Ashley "Who?" Galvan.
11. Be very afraid if you're one of Mia's pet projects and she's just recently been named a permanent judge on the show for which you've just auditioned.  Sorry, Ryan Ramirez, maybe next year when and if the Hot Tamale Train is back on the tracks.
12. If you're going to use the bathroom before giving good news to one of your contestants, make sure all the mics in the immediate vicinity are turned off or down.  I could've done without hearing Nigel's flushing at Woody Boyd's house.  
13. Have no fear if you're chosen one Billy Bell and your immediate competition is some guy named Robert whom we've never heard of before and don't even know his last name.  Even if Robert the Anonymous gets chosen for the final spot in the Top 10, the Powers That Be will turn around and make it a Top 11.

Filed under: TV, TV Recaps

Tags: Recaps, SYTYCD, TV

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  • Girl...hurry up and post. You know what I'm waiting for!! :)

  • In reply to RunningJayhawk:

    Sorry! I've got to wait for the kidlets to go down for their nap. I want to be able to capture Neil in all his glory. 'Twill be up this afternoon.

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