From my recap at phillyBurbs.com.
That was not as painful as I had anticipated. Maybe the pain was dulled by the stimulating Idol chatter that was happening over on Twitter during the show. Thanks so much to everyone who's been following me this season (@MagistraAI), and who has taken the time to chat me up. I'll still be around after Idol, writing about True Blood and whatnot, so come find me! We'll talk. So what? No big deal.
The episode started out with each of the Final 12 dressed up in my exact school uniform from Kindergarten through 2nd Grade (though I'm pretty sure I didn't intentionally roll up my shirt to show my navel). They all looked like a bunch of Facts of Life students (Lee was a dead ringer for Natalie), and I half expected Tootie to show up and sing with the group. But that was before I knew the theme of the night - Aged Rockers. Note that I said "Aged," not "Aging."
The song that the Final 12 performed together was, naturally, "School's Out," because it's the end of May and there's no way Idol could be bothered to take the time to find a cooler song about school (or, you know, not sing a song about school at all). Midway through the performance Alice "Milwaukee" Cooper showed up looking like death barely warmed over. And he didn't sound much livelier. I guess they tried to youth up the performance a bit by having known Avril Lavigne impersonator Orianthi play some guitar behind the judges' table.
The next performance featured reigning Idol princess Kris Allen doing his best Daughtry Blah Rock interpretation. He sounded great, but the song itself was completely nondescript. Come on, Monchichi! You're better than that!
That led into the first of several Simon retrospectives. I was obviously so moved that I couldn't be bothered to write down any notes for this segment.