My daughter was born August 2014 and we were truly blessed to have her in our lives. It had been 10 years that I had an infant and I was more confident in my abilities as a mother. My low self esteem and lack of motivation after child birth had sneaked back into my life. I wondered where my motivation to stay healthy by eating right and working out had disappeared to and how could I get it back.
I feel I was suffering from post postpartum depression because I felt like my kids and boyfriend would be better without me around. I felt like a failure as a mom, even though everything seemed easier this time around. My low self esteem sounded like this in my head: I'm ugly, I'm getting fat and what's the use, I can't do anything right, and on and on. Have you ever felt that low about yourself?
I did not like the low self esteem and lack of motivation after child birth. I would vent to supportive people in my life about it. I was able to boost up myself when push came to shove. That push was when I had all my previous concerns coming back. My knees hurt. I was out of breath when tying my shoes or walking. My blood pressure was high. I had headaches and felt tired all the time.
My boost was going back onto my Gwynspiration Facebook Page and sharing how I felt the low self esteem and lack of motivation after child birth. I didn't start a pity party. I shared my feelings and stated the small goals I wanted to achieve. It was suggested to me by a fellow fan, to listen to podcasts on weight loss again. That suggested started my spark.
My spark came from being tired of my health going down hill and my self defeating thought process. I also know I can't be a good mom if my own foundation is falling apart. I need to build myself back up for my own sake and for my kids.
I downloaded my fitness pal app onto my phone and started tracking my foods again. I also dusted off my workout DVDs and told my boyfriend that I plan to workout after work. I also wanted to get the kids involved in my working out.
I have enjoyed getting back to working out because my family is involved. My daughter walks around me or mimics what I do. I got my son to walk in place during a show or do Richard Simmons' Sweating to the Oldies.
I use to have tons of excuses to why I can't workout. I overcame those excuses because I was just hurting myself. Instead of saying I can't work out because I don't have child care, I said I can have my kids involved in my regiment.
I'm empowered today and will continue to work on my goals with one day at a time mentality.
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Filed under: mental health