Parents: Does your baggage affect the way you raise your kids?

We all have baggage. Our baggage comes from our experiences. Many of us bring our baggage into our relationships and that affects the way we behave in relationships. Our baggage comes in various forms. It may be trust issues, fears or any number of things that have affected us deeply. Here is link to a story about a mother whose baggage is affecting how she parents her child.

This parent grew up thinking that she was smart, gifted and destined for great things in life. When she took the SAT test, she got a reality check because her score was average. She took the test again and again and could never score any higher. This sense of failure or the lack of giftedness affected her life as well as the life of her child. She was admitted to an Ivy League school but struggled to get good grades. It wasn't until her tennis coach sent her to a counselor that she realized that her issues were psychological. After getting counseling, she began to get A's in school. Let's fast forward several years after college and a few lost jobs.

She has a child in first grade and just had the child tested by her school for the gifted program. Her child did not meet the criteria to be placed in the gifted program. She is devastated and calls her sister-in-law who has three gifted children. Her sister-in-law calls her stupid and tells her that she should have never had the child tested by the school, she needs to be tested by an outside consultant. The consultant charges $300. After you pay a consultant $300, do you really think that she is not going to tell you that your child is gifted? If she charges that kind of money and tells parents that their kids are not gifted, she would be out of business.

She spent weeks prepping the child for the test. On the way to the test, her daughter told her that she didn't want to take the test. She begged and pleaded with ther child to take the test and finally resorted to bribing her to take the test. During the test, she was listening and thought that her daughter was having some trouble and she barged into the test to help her child. Feeling totally embarassed, she quickly left the room. When the test was complete, she got the best news ever, her child was indeed "gifted".

This parent is still dealing with her own issues surrounding her SAT score. This poor child will never be able to be the person she was meant to be because her mother has issues. I would like to know who put this mother on such a high pedestal, that an average SAT score has ruined her life. Everyone can't be gifted. In fact, I think that there are very few gifted people in the world. Some people are average in school and they may be great at other things that are not related to school. This poor child is going to have so much pressure on her to not to be average that she may never reach her full potential.

Thanks for reading!

Why do parents tell their children that they are "gifted"?

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