Is your kid, the mean kid?

I want all parents to start paying attention to how their children interact with other children.  In the wake of the bus attendant incident, we all need to make sure that our children are not one of those "Mean" kids.  Make sure that your kid is being nice and plays well with other children.  I don't believe for one second that those boys have never bullied before.

If your small child takes something from another child don't just stand by and wait for the kids to work it out.  Children need to learn about taking turns and sharing at an early age.  They need parental guidance to do it properly.  Children need parents to teach them how to compromise.  If you don't provide this guidance at an early age, this behavior seems normal to your kid which will make him/her a bully or the mean kid.  When kids get guidance at an early age, they will be more comfortable and confident in solving their own issues with their peers as teens.

I have encountered mean children whose parents don't seem to care that they are mean.  Maybe they just don't know what to do.  Some have even enabled the mean behavior.  Here is a play date scenario where the parent enabled the mean behavior.

Child A: I don't want you to sit on the couch with me, you need to sit on the floor.

Child B: Why do I have to sit on the floor?

Mother of Child A: Can you just sit on the floor so that she can stop acting up?

Needless to say, Child B is no longer friends with Child A.  Child A was involved in another mean incident with Child B years later.  She is now a teenager and I am worried about her meanness and how it has progressed with other children.

Child A has a sister that was good friends with another child.  The sister wanted a picture that the other child made in school.  When the child told her that she could not have it, she declared that she was not going to invite the child to her birthday party.  Even though they had been close friends for years and there was no other incident, the child did not get invited to the party.  The fact that the parents allowed this was very disappointing.  Here is how I handled a party situation.

My older daughter was having some issues with a friend and she said that she didn't want to invite that person to her birthday party.  I told her that they had been friends for years and that by the time her birthdate arrived they would be friends again so she should invite her.  We invited the child to the party and they were indeed friends again at the time of the party.

I teach my children how to be a good friend.  I also teach them how to know what a good friend is.  Parents need to talk to their kids about their friendships.  Talk to them about what to expect from their friends and don't be afraid to tell them when they are not being a good friend and when others aren't as well.

Parents, it's up to you to make sure you don't have a mean kid.  Lead by example, teach your kid kindness and respect.  I know this saying is as old as dirt, but it still rings true today.  Treat others the way that you want to be treated! It's simple people!!

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  • My mom is a h.s. bus driver and they have a boy that tends to get in a good amount of trouble on the bus but the biggest contributer to his problem is his parents. His dad i heard was a fireman & his mom i heard was a cop & thier son does no wrong! Believe me if i found out that my kid was doing these things his buttox would be on fire from my belt, he would loose alot of home privileges, & i would volunteer him for some community services. When my kid was around 8th/frsh yr & he was playing a video game & i heard a hole lot cursing going on from the other room & when i walked in to check if i was hearing right & it was i shut off his game, told him he just lost it for a week & i gave him a choice, either a bloody fat sore lip or soap & if he didn't pick then both. He picked the soap & he never cursed again. Thats the 2nd biggest problem with this country is that these so called "professionals" who are nothing more than over educated idiots w./ fragile egos has everyone believing that it is so harmfull to physically discipline our kids, that they will have a troubled future if you do but at the same time they want to point the finger at the parents when thier kid is out of control?????????

  • In reply to 1TruAmerican:

    I really hope that your mother does not encounter any bad ass kids like the ones in New York. Bad parents come in all shapes, sizes, colors, education levels and financial brackets! Its sad for the kids. Thanks for reading.

  • In reply to 1TruAmerican:

    Kids today know that nobody can touch them. So they get away with all kinds of things. When I was a kid there was a certain teacher. We heard that if you talked in his class, he hung you up by your ears in the coatroom. So nobody talked in class...

    Today - they'd never get away with that threat. The kids precious ego is too important. Therefore - the mean kids rule the school. They rule the teachers. The bus. Their house.

    I believe in discipline. The problem is that these days, everything is considered "abuse" - even saying "no" and a smack on the butt for running in the street......

    Parents need to control their kids.

  • In reply to goofyjj:

    Goofyjj, you are like a breath of fresh air. I am so tired of parents making excuses for bad behavior. Our society is a major problem and good parents can't win. You are not supposed to hit your kid or talk in a mean voice to them because it is "child abuse". So we are expected to raise our children using time outs. I bet those boys were given time outs and that's why they treated the bus driver the way that they did. I believe in discipline.
    Here is a comment I found online and I think it's great!

    I totally agree that the kids should have to apologize, but I think the parents should have to apologize as well, and it should go something like this: "Mrs Klein, I am a lazy, ineffective parent, and I apologize that YOU have had to be the brunt of my horrible, ineffective parenting. I recognize that my child and I have set the "Right to Life" movement back by about 1,000 years. My child should have been taken away from me at birth, because my stupidity and inept parenting have resulted in what you were subjected to on Monday. Mrs. Klein, I beg your forgiveness and thank God that there is no prison term or death penalty for worthless parents".
    - Michael S.P.M., Toronto, Canada, 21/6/2012 18:24

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    Is easy, "spank" your child.

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